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Okay. Let me make this undoubtedly clear. My life as of right now sucks like hell. I know that it will not stay this way. I know that somewhere down the line, things will change, things will look better. BUt as of this very second my life is utter crap.
Work
Many of you have heard my constant rants on my work place. Well, then, move on... cause you might have heard it all already, and I dont want to bother you with rereading the stuff going on with the crappy job I have.
I am 18. Old enough now to legally sell alcohol products in the state of Texas. I am not old enough to buy it. and I wouldnt even if I was. I've had people in the last week come in and try to pick me up, asking me to buy their beer for them and them me go hang out with them. Why? no... not cause they are in the least bit attracted to me. because I wont let them buy it without seeing their IDs. Same group of kids typically, saying "well... bald guy (refering to a co-worker of mine) knows me. I'm here all the time buying this" So, I say this. I have not yet to see your id. and until it is presented to me and I recognize your face and crap... I will not sell the alcohol to you. Then, they ask "well... then how bout you buy it and I'll meet you outback and we'll go hang out and drink." stare stressed damn morons.... thinking they can get me to let them buy it. stare ******** that....
My bosses are power-hungry slave-workers bent on trying to save their butts and pinch every single penny out of us... their "worthless employees" There was a note posted the other day by the manager saying: "___ & ___ are going to be here Friday or Saturday. This store had better be spotless or ELSE." :Stare: meaning... we had to have our shelves cleaned... which meant cleaning with the fabulous Mr. Clean under all the object... dusting and fronting everything... on top of having all of overlay (stocking and cleaning) completely done... a feat that alone takes at least 6 hours to complete if you are left alone to just work at it. Course. Thursday, I was on overlay and we were busy til about 5 ...... I managed to get my shelves done the day before thank god... but I didnt get out of there til 11. The next day my manager had the nerve to ask me why I stayed two hours late... when I told her that I stayed to finish overlay as per her instructions, she told me that I should have clocked out and finished cause I shouldnt be payed for not finishing my work in the allotted time. I turned around and told her that it was either it got done and I got the extra hours, or I would have clocked out and left at 9 like I was supposed to. I canceled my plans for that night half an hour before I was supposed to attend them, and stayed. Some appreciation.
Illegalities.... if they are not illegal... tehn they sure are pressing the damn button pretty close..... stare
Driveoffs for example. If we have a driveoff with no information then we are required to pay for that gas out of our pockets. however. They leave us there.. alone mind you... during the busiest hours of the day. They leave people there alone for hours on end... when you are bound to have a line and cant break away to write down the damned plate. IF they are so desperate to stop them... they need to ALWAYS have two people there. Open to close. or. install cameras that focus on the plates. or. Require that all customers paying inside MUST prepay first. My first driveoff. I was alone. Had a line to the door.. bout 15 people I thinks. I had only been there for a week or so... twas 33$ and some odd cents.... stare they cut my hours to cover that 33$. Didja know though? they are just getting at least double the money for each drive off no info? Yeah... its a tax right off apparently... meaning... they are getting that amount back from the governmentand then whatever we have to pay as well.
They change policy after enacting it on someone. I took an out of state check last week, which I was never told I was not allowed to take. the next day I was told that by the manger. The following day, I was presented with a nice little paper telling me I have to pay the 184.25$ check put of pocket. Then... if its not back within two weeks, every penny is refunded to me. stare I signed it ... stupid of me... cause at the time it was not written in company policy. I told Stacy, the area supervisor, that I had never been told that. The next day, they added that clause in the policy and made everyone sign it. stare if I wasnt so damn stupid... I wouldnt have signed in the first place. yesterday was payday... Mary, the manager, came in and opened my check... invasion of my privacy... went to my register and started counting out the amount. I didnt have enough in my drawer, so she left, my check in her hand, which is stealing my check... andreturned later, forcing me to sign the check and cash it there at the store. She then took the money I owe and slid it into her pocket... is what I think I saw.... and gave me what remained. stare I asked her if she had even bothered to contact the guys bank. She said yeah... but all they would tell her is that the account was an active account. Bullshit... I bet she didnt even ask... and she said the only way she can possibly know if that check is cleared... is when the bank gets the check back. Again, bullshit... CALL THE DAMN BANK!! they will tell you if that check has cleared or not!!! But you know what? If I cannot physically hold that check DEcember 21st.... then I get every dime every penny of my money returned as stated in that paper. even if the check shows up the next day. If they dont, then their butts are going to court and I will get damages on top of that 200$ and they will have to cover the shifts themselves, cause I will tell every single person that goes in to get an application that it is not worth the aggrivation. bet they'd like that huh?
anyways.... *Sighs* I could go on and on... but I'll save it... right?....*sighs*
one more week... one more week of this bull....
Life Overall
This one I can go on and one with too... but I wont.... caus eI'll probably break down..... *sighs*
Yes.... I am a cutter... or at least I was... its been awhile since I actually have done anything.... but its hard right now not to break down and do it again.... SOrry you had to find out Cajun... I really didnt want you or really anyone else to know.... *Sighs* but things cant always be hidden....*Shrugs* just dont go spread it around... okay?.....
Daniel... a friend of mine... has passed... November 21st... died from the later effects of leprosy... he was 21.... too young for a fate like that..... His girlfriend.... known as Mika here.... is taking it hard... as can be expected... but a bit too hard.... I think.... but yeah.... *sighs* that night... she carved his name into her arm... and took a bottle of tynenol. She's okay.... lost some feeling in her arms... and doesnt remember a whole lot from before then... but yeah... she's just trying to cope with his death.... probably didnt help that he insisted that he was getting better.... *Sighs* *shakes her head before she depressed herself*
Jo... we found out... has a tumor. they're gonna treat it and everything, but still.. *Sighs* like my second cousin.... there's a possiblity that she wont come out of it alive. they're gonna try though. hopefully they can get it and she'll be herself again, but for now... *Sighs* The therapy starts soon after the 1st... I think she said she had to go in like 9th or 10th... she should be okay in the long run....
I'm sorry if I've been ... "off" as Ed puts it.... not myself... just carrying a lot right now.... and its breaking me apart.... I'm sorry if I've offended anyone in anger... or hurt anyone with tea
rs... May's mask is shattering... and she cant always hide what she's feeling like she could before...
I miss and love you all..... Asian.... Ed.... Kitty.... Cajun.... Horo... sis.... everyone.... I should be on more come jan 3rd... when I finally get back to idaho and out of my personal hell.....
*has so much more to write... but is breaking already...*
uhm...
Love All!
*runs off, biting down on her hand*
 Marion-san · Thu Dec 16, 2004 @ 06:03am · 3 Comments |
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