I hate who I am. I've lied and hurt so many. I don't know why I did it though. Was it because people believe what they hear when it comes straight from that person? I don't know if I should tell Bailey. But I'll have too eventually. I don't want to be alone but it has to happen. The song cold by Crossfade fits me really well. I don't get it. I've hurt him but he still cares. Why? I know he doesn't love me. He can't love me. I sent him this entire thing. I just read all of it over and was shocked to find how...I sound. I was thinking of lani when I was reading. Things just blended together. But my life isn't so fortunate. What if he really does love me and I'm too stubborn to admit it? I cried tears because of him. I've only done that for Bailey. I feel like a total a** now. I was trying to make him understand he can't love me. But who the hell am I to tell him how he feels? I know how I feel. I'm lost in between sadness, guilt, understanding, happiness, and something else I'm not to sure of. It's funny huh? How people think they know themselves then someone comes along and turns them inside out. That might have happened to me. I love him. I do, I know I do. I know he loves me. I'm drinking. I think I'm sick. Mabey it's the alcohol. I don't know.
 .The.Super.Sadist. · Thu Jun 15, 2006 @ 04:55pm · 0 Comments |
