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[This chapter is for you, Gabriel. You were the only one who knew, and the only one who saw behind my facade. Thank you, and I wish you luck in the future.]
Lord Philip of Wesley was Duremia's most eligible bachelor. He was heir to a great dukedom, and with it, the highest position and greatest wealth at court, under the monarch. Many young girls tried desperately to woo him. He had the leisure of choice--he was a wealthy young man, already at the top of the ladder, with his future secured no matter who he married.
But he had eyes for only one woman, cold as ice and possessing a chilly grace.
Lady Valerianna, daughter of the count of Hollandsburg.
Philip was a very shy young man, so it was a while before their courtship finally began. When it did, he was incredibly passionate and loyal, what any woman would dream of.
But Lady Valerianna was, as I said, cold as ice. She seemed unmoved by his declarations of love and at first she kept him at arm's length--testing him.
Finally, the gifts came. She was showered with new gowns and jewelry from the Wesley fortune. She acted a little warmer, and when Philip proposed, she accepted, urged on by her family.
Her future seemingly secure (engagements almost never broke off), Valerianna cut off all pretenses. She barely paid attention to poor Philip, but smugly flaunted each new gift.
Philip tried harder and harder, but finally he realized that nothing would change. On his birthday, his fiancee spent the entire day riding with her friends and said not a word to him.
The next day, the engagement was called off. The Hollandsburgs were incredibly upset. Even his own family scolded him for the disgraceful move. Valerianna screamed at him during breakfast for all the court to hear, claiming he was using her and disgracing her, as if it weren't the other way around, as if she weren't disgracing herself at that moment. I finally had to step in and ask her to hold her tongue. Daringly she suggested some awful things about me and Lord Philip before she sat down spitefully, scowling. I was very tempted to reclaim some of her lands.
Lady Valerianna somehow rode through her disgrace, but Philip was in worse shape. I did not understand at the time how he could still love her after what she'd done to him. He never even looked at another woman. Eventually the young girls gave up, though his family was furious.
He once said to me that he thought of going away, to some far-away country, away from the memories. So...maybe he has finally gotten his wish.
I wonder if I will be the same way. To my death, forever in love with a man who is not good for me. Never able to rest, or love one who will treat me well. Only death will release me.
Everyone thinks that my suffering will be remedied when we destroy Edward, or banish him from Duremia forever. Only you knew, dear friend, that my suffering is deeper than anyone can ever know. And now I am the only one with this secret inside me. I am the only one who knows what really happened that night between me and Edward, besides Edward himself.
Oh, dearest friend. I remember when I finally told you. I could not hold it in any longer. I had cried and cried and disgraced myself. But you never said a word, because you understood.
I swear to you, I will reclaim my throne, and the disgrace he has laid upon you will be turned into a remembrance of the honorable person you were. Hundreds of years later, you will alway be remembered as Lord Philip, the pillar of strength behind Queen Alisyn, the most loyal and courageous man in the kingdom.
Oh, God, I miss you. Come back to me. I cannot bear this alone.
 LadyAlisyn · Fri Jul 31, 2009 @ 09:32pm · 0 Comments |
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