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-For the shits and Giggles.-
Have you ever noticed that on those nights you just can't sleep, it seems like all the infomercials in the WORLD are being shown around midnight and into the early morning hours? What, do they think you're going to be wide-eyed and bushy-tailed enough to look at an ad for a self cleaning food processor and actually think to yourself Hmm, that could be handy! when really you're actually thinking Why hasn't the NyQuil kicked in yet? gonk
What about the Mighty Putty s**t that Billy Mayes promotes? No, no, what about the guy himself? Does that guy yell loud enough? One of his ads come on and it's like:
"HI, BILLY MAYES HERE FOR OXYCLEAN!"
Now, when you've got a headache, and about ten of these commercials come at you rapid fire, you decide that that's enough and throw the T.V. out the window. If you're sane, check this one out:
He always wears the SAME blue shirt.
There's no variation. Did you also notice how he looks like a taller version of Mario from the Super Mario Brothers Series?
Except, Mario's clean shaven for the Princess.
Moving on.
Ever notice how crazy it is for people to sit there, begin a sentence, and stop out of nowhere? Then they're like: "Oh, nevermind. You don't want to hear it." because you make a face or something. When all you can think is: "If I didn't want to hear it, I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't look like I'm seriously mentally inclined while sitting next to you. Hence, the face." Kinda pisses you off, doesn't it? It's like: "I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, DAMNIT! DID THE BEAR EAT THE CHICKEN OR DID HE EAT THE ******** PURPLE DINOSAUR?! I MEAN, COME ON! WHAT?!"
The other night, I was up while watching the FoodNetwork, and OH. MY. GOD. Another infomercial came on, and guess what it was? If you guessed something to do with food or excercise, you're stupid because no. That wasn't it. It happened to have something to do with GARDENING. Now, I know what you're thinking. Gardening on the food channel? What, we're gonna garden with giant looking fork things and eat at the same time some hearty cuisine that happened to originate from the same garden? No. But here's the point behind this.
It helped with vegetables.
Seriously?!
Who eats those anymore, psh.
Me.
The other day, I was at the amusement park with a friend of mine, and we got on this ride, you know the one that scares little kids shitless because it's nothing but a bar holding you in while it takes you up and spins you around? Well, we were on that one, and my harness came loose. I start flipping out, and everyone's screaming anyway, so I'm kind of drowned out in the middle of this, but we got off and I shouted "GO GO, POWER RANGERS!"
Talk about near-death with a silly ending.
All comedy written in this customly built thinga-ma-jigg was written/created by me, I R INSURED BY CHINESE MAWPHIEAA. (mafia -w-):
YOU STEAL THIS CONTENT, b***h WE CUT YOU!
Ahaha. Doubles, Mate, I'm Outie.
 Ix Enigma xI · Wed Jun 24, 2009 @ 04:06pm · 0 Comments |
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