Forget it. As of today, I'm going to take up running or exercizing. I'm going to overexert myself if I want to. It'll be fun.
I did run today. I ran until my body collapsed. Then when I sat on the ground, I forced myself back up and ran back home. When I got home, I felt so tired, I felt like my chest was going explode. It fewlt good. I felt freezing, partly from the wind and partly from the tingling feeling of my body giving up. I enjoyed the feeling of wanting to give up. But I didn't. I didn't get a drink of water either.
I just layed there in my backyard, feeling hurt inside. I finally got up, and I had a headache and felt dizzy. I blew it off. Screw it. I'm psychotic, that's what they said to me. Apparently I'm a psycho. So guess what?
I'm a psycho!
We can be psycho together. I'll run and you'll sleep and sing. We'll be vegetarians and we'll never have to do anything. We can cry together. We can stay inside all day, and after I run, you can give me water. And we can cry. We can cry and be psycho and fall asleep and watch movies and sing together. And I'll study and read. You'll draw and cook. We can have no more troubles anymore. Even though we'll still have trouble, they'll go away when we read. When we cry, when we laugh. We always make each other laugh.
Maybe not. Maybe all we'll do is run and read and cry and be psycho together. Oh well. We'll still be psychotic. And we can still cry together. I'll always cry with you. I always do. God, my chest hurts.
So, until then, I'll keep my eye on you 24/7. I still am. You know I'm always watching you. You're always watching me too. You look out for me a lot, and I'm trying to look out for you. I'm afraid, you're afraid. But I haven't given up yet. You haven't yet. I don't want you to give up yet either.
Just wait a little longer. I know you'll make it through.
 nangal · Thu Feb 12, 2009 @ 03:15am · 0 Comments |
