Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
With hope comes heart.
Doll House
I woke up this morning after a not so restful night of sleep, filled with awkward dreams, and a mattress that I think is out to destroy my back. I woke up somewhat dazed and confused at my surroundings, wondering if I'd woken up in the fairyland to which I know I truly belong. I found myself in my room, half frozen as I'd kicked the blankets off and was already suffering from a fever. I got out of bed, and stumbled down the hall to the bathroom and found my face in the mirror as the sunlight hit it.

I was confused at first at my reflection, but now I liken the girl staring back at me to be a porcelain doll. My skin was fair, and entirely flawless in that glorious sunlight. And as I looked my body over I found the reflection to be true of all of me, save my left arm. Light and fair and almost unreal were the only words I could find for my skin. My eyes looked to be somewhat glazed to have the natural appearance of the glass eyes they used to use for dolls. My hair fell fluffy and messy around my face, but had a beautiful color to it.

Thinking back on it, perhaps I'm not a fairy.

I'm a doll.

And how perfect I should be made of porcelain. I'm fragile, beautiful but very fragile. Moreover I'm cold to the touch, so lifelike, but so incredibly false. Moreover, like a doll I'm unwanted. How many people outside of the elderly really keep porcelain dolls on display? How many boys...how many men really want something so weak and defenseless, so cold and so dead.

On a closing note....
I'm selfish.

And for that I'm sorry.


Evelie Harte
Community Member
  • [04/20/11 08:10am]
  • [07/12/10 11:53pm]
  • [07/10/10 06:33am]
  • [07/09/10 01:49am]
  • [07/01/10 05:58am]
  • [06/30/10 06:25am]
  • [05/10/10 12:18am]
  • [05/08/10 11:55pm]
  • [03/10/10 10:07pm]
  • [10/10/09 02:59pm]




  • User Comments: [1]
    Contexi
    Community Member





    Tue Jan 20, 2009 @ 05:24pm


    In ages past, there was an ideal woman. She was quiet, she was passive, she loved unconditionally, she nurtured the children, and she was beautiful. All things change, ideals included. Sometimes the change is due to an ideal that made no sense, or sometimes the ideal was so inconstant with the majority reality that reality forces it to become different.

    Granted, few men have ever played with dolls beyond their childhood years. But those few men tend to be the ones who are also ideals. The men who desire this 'doll' sort of woman are the kind of men who tend to be sensitive, thoughtful, insightful, caring, and respectful. They're rarely the 'strong' variety of male though, and since they cling so tightly to their figurative dolls, they tend to be harder to find without them.

    As a closing note, it's impossible to live without taking one's self into account.


    User Comments: [1]
     
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Offers
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games
    Mini-Games
    Play with GCash
    Play with Platinum