Okay, I'm going to be completely honest right now. It's going to sound like I want pity and simpathy and I'm so superficial and I'm overreacting and all that other stuff. But this is just going to have to sound like it, because I can't keep it inside anymore.
My best friend is moving.
You know how you always have that ONE person you've grown up with? That one person who knows all your secrets? That one person you can't separate from? The person who you can't see yourself growing apart from? How you just don't feel right growing up without that ONE person by your side?
He was that one person.
The person I care about more than anyone and everything. The person I told everything to. The person who literally lived just down the way. The person whose house I could walk to if I ever wanted to see. When we were little, it was the person I knew would help me defeat those monsters in my closet. Who could make me laugh whenever I needed to, even when I didn't want to laugh. The one with the best hugs, who always made me smile when they walked through the door.
And I've lost him.
I've been crying for days on end. Crying myself to sleep. Crying when I'm alone. Holding back as many tears as I could being around him. It's hard having most of your heart put into someone, and having to see them go. Having the paths split, and being forced to take the other way.
And for the record, I do love him.
Not that whole 'OMG it's high school we'll just end up hating each other it's arrow love.' kind of love. That kind you can only put into one person because they're your best friend. Friends come and go all the time, but what happens to that one good one who was always there for you? Who put up with every little thing and stuck by your side no matter what happened. Who has to leave sometimes, and you might not ever see that person ever again. And it hurts to see them go. And it hurts even worse to have every single person, including those you don't know, just walk up like it's nothing and say 'Aren't you sad he's moving tomorrow? You guys won't ever see each other again!"
Bestest good friends are hard to come by.
And knowing inside I'm promising myself not to cry, it's just a joke. I'm going to be a wreck, and everyone knows it. Everyone knows I'm going to be messed up and not be able to smile for real. It'll all be a fake smile. And I'll get home from school, and just break down more. And I have to be in public after school tomorrow. Everyone will know on my face I'm screwed up. They won't know why, but I'm sure a lot of pople will know when they see my face. I know what they'll think.
Something just ripped that girls heart out.
And they'll be right.
 nangal · Wed Jan 07, 2009 @ 05:08am · 1 Comments |
