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Dad: Has anyone seen the sledge-hammer lying around
Alvah: You can always use the back of this axe

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Alvah: Here are the keys to my car Elizabeth; I lost them last time so do
Whatever
Liz: Really?
Alvah: Sure….
-MINUTE LATER-
Liz: *starts up car while Alvah slips in the passenger seat*
Alvah: This will be interesting
Liz: *Starts backing up car, tries the brakes* Alvah….THE BRAKES ARENT
WORKING!!!
Alvah: Well that’s because they’re broken
Liz: TELL ME THAT BEFORE I START DRIVING THE MESSED UP CAR!!!

~Failed attempt at driving …need new car~
Liz: Hey dad, can we drive Alvah’s car around the block?
Dad: No, the breaks don’t work
Liz: Ya, I figured out that one…how about your car?
Dad: The gas pedal is stuck
Liz: The van?
Dad: Not licensed
Liz: G, Alvah even sold my mini-bike…don’t we have anything to use?
Dad: The bikes….
Liz: They have flat tires
Alvah: What a messed up family

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Liz: This family is INSANE
*Everybody stares*
Liz: Now why did I just say that…