I did not write this, I found it on my sisters desk while looking for a pen to borrow.
I just want to fly away from here,
I want to give in to the wind,
And let it carry me where it may.
I don’t care what means it takes to do that.
I can’t stay here anymore.
I can’t be stuck in this chapter of my life anymore.
I need to be free.
One way or another,
I need to break the ties that bind.
Everything I do though,
Buries me deeper in.
I do what they tell me to do.
And as long as I follow their instruction,
I’ll never know what being free feels like,
What it tastes like.
I just want to find a place,
Where I can finally know peace.
I want to be in a world where I’m loved,
And not the conditional kind of love either.
I want to be loved without restriction.
I want to know what it feels like to be loved just because,
And not love that tries to control my life.
Life isn’t meant to be tamed,
It isn’t meant to be controlled.
It’s meant to be lived,
Wild and uninhibited.
And yet I find myself allowing myself to be stuck,
Stuck in rule and control.
How can I break free of this life long habit?
Where is that place where I don’t have to keep crying when no one’s looking?
Where is that place that accepts me completely,
And allows me just to be.
All the escapes I’ve tried haven’t worked.
Will anything ever work?
Have I doomed myself to a life of misery?
I’m afraid I have.
This is all my fault.
Just like everything else.
I try to persuade myself that this can be that place.
I try to pretend I don’t need anything else.
And I can keep up that visage to everyone else,
But I can’t fool myself anymore.
God why?
Why can’t I just settle for things the way they are?
I already blew the chances of getting away I think.
I blew them back before I even knew what those chances were.
I sealed my own fate,
All for a fake substitute for happiness.
Will I have to pretend this is enough forever?
Will I ever be able to put down the mask,
And finally be what I’ve always portrayed?
I think I’m forever stuck here.
And it breaks my heart.
If you can call what I have a heart.
Here goes another night of tears,
Preparing for another day of fake smiles.
Empty guarantees that nothing’s wrong.
Don’t worry.
Everything’s just fine.
Ask anyone.
 Data_3rr0r · Mon Jul 07, 2008 @ 06:54pm · 0 Comments |
