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I'm all caught up and going crazy |
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Ever had someone effect you in ways you'd never picture possible, and then, they're gone and you can't get ahold of them. No matter how hard you try, no matter how many hours you sit and stare at their last known screen name waiting for it to sign on just so you can say hi, and then you realize you've spent like five hours staring at their old screen name, remembering all the laughs, the wild things that were said and all that stuff just floods your head, and you just want to reach out to someone who can maybe help you stay standing because it was all so much that it made you dizzy?
I'm kinda stuck there at the moment. Desperately searching for someone to help me stay afloat cause I feel myself sinking. I know it sounds crazy, and in alot of ways, it is. I blame those stupid damn songs we dedicated to each other, cause they've been playing on the radio alot here lately, and then I had to go download them cause I just couldn't get enough of them. So, here I am now. Listening to "Crazy" and "All my life" by K-Ci & Jojo, and several other songs cause they all remind me of David..
A guy I haven't talked to in almost two years, but hey. I can't help it. He effected me in many different ways. He was the first person I ever really loved outside of my family, and he's always gonna be that first person. I just wish he and I were still talking, but when we broke up, talking to each other was too painful and talking to him after we broke up made me terribly sad, and we were both trying to move on, but sometimes I wish we'd have held together for just alittle longer.
I loved him, and still do, and I hate myself for it? I'm still all caught up on a guy I dated when I was 15 until I was almost 17yrs old, still. I guess that is really a long time for teens to stay together, but damn. Most of the time I wish I could just forget about him, but then the thought of forgetting him is almost as painful as it was when we broke up.
Why does love have to suck so damn much? I mean really, it sucks! It's kinda got me wondering if maybe love is just like Santa. People tell you he's real, and then he turns out to be fake, it's really your parents playing a cruel trick on you for 7-8yrs of your life, and then you turn around and do the same damn thing to your kids when you have em. Maybe love is like that, it only exists because people say it does?
Okay, I know that's bullshit. Love is a mixture of emotions you feel for a person, etc. I know love exists, I guess I'm going back into my bitter hating of love phase again. >.> Sometimes I can be a very bitter person towards certain emotions, love being one of them. Well, hell. Let's play a fun song and get me outta this sink hole I'm walking into shall we?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z47EUaIFrdQ
Ha. If you've read this, I feel sorry for you. So, click the link up there, and go listen to a fun song that makes ya wanna dance. ^.^ Sorry I put y'all through my emo cycle.
 WatchTheSunDie · Fri Apr 18, 2008 @ 12:49am · 0 Comments |
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