Ok, I understand Scissors can beat Paper, and i get how Rock beats Scissors, but there's no way that Paper can beat Rock! Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? Then, why the hell can't Paper do this to Scissors? In fact, screw Scissors! Why can't Paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they are trying to take notes in class? I'll tell you why! It's because Paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that s**t up in about two seconds! The next time I play "Rock, Paper, Scissors," I will choose Rock. That way, when the other claims to have beaten me with Paper, I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say something like... "Oh s**t, I'm sorry, I thought Paper would protect you."
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