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I am the one hiding amongst the shadows

Each time I'm askes to compromise I go insane

I feel insane every single time

So how long did I expect love to out weigh ignorance

Now that look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip

Shame pulses through my heart

From the things I've done to you

It's hard to face, but the fact remains

That this is nothing new

I left myself bound and tied with suicidal memories

Selfish beneath the skin

But deep inside I'm not insane.

Now that I've lost you it kills me to say

I tried to hold on as you slowly slipped away.

I'm losing the fight.

I treated you so wrong, now let me make it right.

Come back again, it's almost easy

~*~

This is from Avenged Sevenfolds "Almost Easy" but it's how I feel almost all the time. I put on a facade to cover how I truly feel. But I'll only allow one person to see that side and I'm learning to maybe open up that tightly holded shield. I hate my insecurities and it makes me lose the ones I care about and I hate myself even for for it. So Brandon, you're not flawed... it's me who is scum and is in awe of having you for a lover. heart

~*~