i dont really know what it is but im really depressd all the sudden.. i have been for a while... i have a lot of things that depress me.. and i get really tired from it literally.. i cant get up in the mornings anymore and im getting sick a lot now.. to top it off we are going to have baby birds that will die the moment they hatch.. it sucks knowing something that could possibly make me happy is going to die moments before i get it.. Plus my bird that i have had for over seven years is getting sick.. my parents dont pay any attention to me unless i get bad grades and well they never say i love you or anything.. its only when its brought to their attention that im hurting myself or im crying and breaking down do they actually say a damn thing.. they never show they care for me at all and the only time they do is like when theres a thing going on that involves me breaking down... None of my family cares unless theres something really wrong.. I really dont know what to do or say anymore.. its hard though cause now im blacking out my problems almost as soon as i get them.. im just really depressed now and im not really sure why.. ill write down as much as i possibly can but it seems like my head is so crammed that i cant even think straight anymore.. i want to be happy.. not just the time im with my boyfriend i wanna be happy all the time.. but that impossible in itself isnt it.. even if i were to become hppy i doupt it would be very long.. i bet id only be happy for a day.. and then it would go back to my normal problem after problem life.. a life i dont want to live but i have too.. I really just want to be happy.. thats all i want.. i dont want happiness taken from me anymore.. hmm life is death and thats so true..
 Ishira Tsubasa · Mon Apr 18, 2005 @ 11:59pm · 4 Comments |
