The heart and soul i once had.

• Artist: princess_chixscene96
• Description: i wrote this when i was having a hard time and thinking about all the things that have happened to me.
• Date: 07/12/2010
• Tags: heart soul once

For the heart i once had
before i died.
Before my heart gave out.
when i was 10 and my heart stopped
for a moment then i came back.
I came back without a soul,
and a heart can never survive
without a soul.
It slowly died and became rockhard.
Until i met you.
Somehow my heart managed to stay alive, waiting
For someone to revive it and bring my soul back.
Somehow i was wrong,you took my heart
little by little it became yours. you took my soul if there was a part of it left.
I wish i had the same heart and soul i once had when i was child
before my heart gave out.
For the person i cherish the most
who has my heart and soul forever more.

Comments

[Eidolon Style]

Here's my issue with it. It seemed very scrambled up, which bothered me. What I mean is, a lot of times you would explain the whole 'soul' thing. But you took too many rhythms to do it.

Anyway, you also said that you died in the beginning. But when you met this person, you somehow didn't die. I think you should've said something like, 'And then I came back to life.' What you were saying contradicted yourself too much. But for the general story, emotion, and description, I give 3.5!