Over Coming the Darkness

• Artist: Demonio69
• Description: Life is like a pond...
  Throw a stone and watch the ripples affect everything in their path...
• Date: 05/04/2010
• Tags: over coming darkness

Clouding my heart, taking it over...
Strangling the light, forcing it to disappear...
My heart is slowing, Oh so slowly...
So unnoticably...

The Darkness is creeping, Like a poison in my viens...
Wrentching my heart, into attacks of pain...
It doesn't know where to go...
Watch as it fades...
Into the Darkness...

Only a spark of Light is left, Lighting some small amount of my heart...
The Darkness is eager to stranggle it out of me, It hungers for its death...
But now is not the time to let it succed...
Now is the time...
To Overcome The Darkness...

Comments

[lollipopsy]

You really love your ellipses, don't you?
I would understand if you capitalised "Light" and "Darkness" for effect, but "Like" and "Oh"?
Needs more rhythm
Spelling errors in lines 4, 5, 6, 11 and 12.

[Miyakie]

I really like this. It read smoothly and was very descriptive. A bit overly dramatic, but it fits.