• you are in my head
    every second of the day
    it doesn't matter
    whats going on
    ill always be thinking of you
    ive thought about it and i remember
    that night i told you about
    how i feel about my life
    and i didnt think you were ready
    to hear my life story
    and how i felt about it
    i cried my eyes out that night
    because i thought i had ruined
    the only thing that really mattered to me
    but i was so relieved to hear you
    say that it was no big deal
    and that i should not worry so much
    because there was no need
    but from that day on i knew
    i was going to lose you
    i knew that you did not feel the same
    for me as i did for you
    and as i had suspected
    i was speaking of how i felt
    and i let it slip that i knew
    i loved you from how much i think of you
    and your next words crushed my world
    and destroyed any hope i had formed
    in my head and in my heart
    that i actually had something to live for
    something to show that i had a reason
    to stay alive
    for you were the only one i could trust
    and you let me down with the words,
    "im sorry becca but i cant say i love you back..."
    these are the words that i hate with the greatest passion
    because if these words did not exist
    then i would still have hope
    and i would have tried harder
    at everything in my life
    to hold on to that hint of hope
    and make it much more than a hint
    but the core of my being
    but now its my fault
    because if i had not fallen in love with you
    none of this would have ever happened
    and i would never have known what i had lost
    and i would never have felt the pain
    the pain that has not taken place of
    but covered up the love and forced me
    to have to put on a mask everyday
    just to hide the fact that i still love you more than anything in the world
    so we can just be friends
    and act as if nothing ever happened between us
    and for me to wish that i had been enough for you
    because you were completely too much for me
    i love you
    always have
    always will
    no matter what ♥