Desertion

• Artist: xXx_SoulReaper1_xXx
• Description: this is the story about what happened when my father left me.
• Date: 08/23/2009
• Tags: desertion father

I walk alone in this hopeless place
Hoping my father will come back
Every time its the same
He never comes back
I pray every night
That he would come home
I get disappointed each day
And at night cry myself to sleep.

Comments

[loveletterdelivery]

does the other commentator expect to find shakespeare on gaiaonline? anyway, poetry doesn't really need a pattern - there's free form for a reason. this is a good start - and considering this is from 2009, hopefully you've continued writing!

[Sunafire]

Short, bland, and unoriginal.
It's a nice try, but some imagery, some depth and some pattern would have made it better smile