Deep

• Artist: maydaymouse
• Description: I don't know why I titled it "Deep" but I just made this poem because I was really hurt and want to get it out in anyway possible. I don't care if you don't like it just rate it comment it, do what you want.
• Date: 03/28/2009
• Tags: deep heart wound

My eyes are pricked
And my heart has
Been tricked
I wished for God to
Make it rain,
In the hopes that he
Would be nice enough
To wash away my pain,
But I know this
Hopeful wish won't come
True, for the
Wound is much too
Deep, and much too new...

Comments

[Cherry Blossom Writings]

I like how you are able to put an enormous amount of emotion into a few stanza. I don't think the spaces between the stanzas are necessary and causes too much of a break between lines like
"In hopes that he

Would be nice enough"
That is an unneeded pauses.
4/5

_Kayame_

[Pro Amy Shiko1991]

That was a sad one indeed.... and I really feel for you. Try not to let what ever inspired you on this or anything bring you down for you truly have a talant. work on where you section them off and who knows you might make it in publishing them some day. 5/5

[niNja_sockiiZ]

awh T^T
so sad...I LOVE IT.

[magic_doglover]

very nice. simple and honest.

[roseankitty]

rating back. >3

[XxDireFangxX]

i love your poem style 5/5

[Devious Nut]

I know this is some of you older stuff, but nonetheless, you're a great poet. 5/5