The Poem

• Artist: BiGxBANGG
• Description: This poem happened to me once so i got bored and wrote how i felt.
  RATE PLEASE
• Date: 03/01/2009
• Tags: poem

Listen in dead silence and you might hear
A "smiling" girl shed a silent tear.
Look past the smile on her face
And you may see it's out of place.
Listen to her laugh escape in peals
And you might realize it isn't real.
Look into her eyes, really look
Do you see the strength it took?
To act like nothing is wrong at all,
To get up after each fall.
Do you know what's at stake,
When everything you do is so fake?

Comments

[Sunafire]

Everyone has problems and just because they laugh and smile with friends doesn't mean it's fake xD
Aha but i'm sure you're aiming this at someone in particular, where it's true so don't mind me smile
I agree with the other person though, the rhyming is really good, and you have some nice lines, especially the last, so well done biggrin

[Paras_Serenity]

I like how the poem is all about fake smiles, which is a theme that I enjoy... I don't think you need to draw attention to smile by putting it in quotes, I think the fact that she is shedding tears is a good enough emphasis that it is not a real smile. I like the rhyme for this poem, it doesn't feel too awkward. I would mess with the word "silent" because "silent tear" seems a little cliche. Overall, nice!