Why?

• Artist: Kuramalover23
• Description: *SIGH* another damn poem for "Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni" and yet i have more. so whatever the more insanity the more fun, right.
  
• Date: 12/22/2008
• Tags: reputable mendacious

You brought this pain on
It was you from the beginning
Cant escape, cant run
The desire flowing in your head
The sick taunting laughter
They can hear clearly
'Destructive instinct'
Harming your friends
A game sought to be fun
Every exchange of words
It brought ya to the edge
Sometimes even the sound of cries
Punish yourself so that 'they' can be saved

Comments

[Paras_Serenity]

I think there is an interesting idea behind this poem, but you might consider tweaking with it. Some of the language feels a little cliche- and it is usually best to avoid that in writing (can't escape, can't run) often rather than resorting to the old cliched phrase, it works to substitute actual description/ or metaphorical description in instead. Nice attempt. ^_^