It's all about her...

• Artist: Lovely Music Lover
• Description: seqeul to 'You,me,plus she...'!
• Date: 12/06/2008
• Tags: about

It was always about her.
She got everything I ever wanted.
She got long blonde hair,and blue eyes.
I got short brown hair and green eyes.
She got rich.
I went poor.
She never cried.
I always shed tears.
She was popluar.
I was an outcast.
And then she got something I always wanted.
She got you.
And I got no one.
It's all about her...

Comments

[Lovely Music Lover]

lol thank you :]

[Monokuro No Yume]

... When it's talking about the hair and eyes, you make it sound as if those were given be the 'you' - as if the 'you' was their parent.
Which it doesn't sound like...
So I'd say edit that a little bit.
And besides that, the poem seems slightly dull. Just stating facts. (< Of slightly cliche situation) and I think you'd do better to add more emotion.
2/5
Not terrible, can't say it has much going for it though.
Pictures ARE very cool however.

[iiLil_emo_PuppeTii]

wow.... i like this... this is how i feel. good job, keep writing!!!