Dreaming Weightless Being

• Artist: dizzy_otaku
• Description: A freestyle poem about letting go and letting the change have a positive effect. In other words, becoming independent. Criticism Please!!
• Date: 10/19/2008
• Tags: independence lettinggo symbolism clouds

They used to be mine
I felt the instant they let go.
I felt the see-saw titter-tip.
I needed you to balance me out.
They held me in place,
held me up off the ground.
Without the weight
I felt the sand between my toes.
I didn't like it.
I threw myself high into the sky
I grabbed a cloud
so I could float away from you.
They can't reach me anymore.
Up with the clouds,
there's no need for that balance.
No need to be held down.
The wind lets me breathe free.
They don't need me anymore.
I can hold myself up now.

Comments

[Tasukun]

Nya! =D Nice one, though I would have paid more attention to rhythm since some lines either cut off too soon, or go on too long. Its an excellent poem. b ^_^ d

[Love Requiem]

great descriptions. just work on the tempo some. otherwise, it was excellent!