• I would love you more if you weren’t so weird
    Or if you knew how to use the shower
    And probably if you cleaned out your beard
    With a hose that had one hundred power

    Or if caterpillars divorced your eyes
    Or the boil on your nose disappeared
    Maybe if the toupee on your head dies
    Our love fading will not ever be feared

    And although Bigfoot may have smaller feet
    And your odor smells like rotten Swiss cheese
    Or the nose that took your face’s front seat
    You’re the only weirdo who’s heart I seized

    And though you are still you on the inside
    You are not Fabio by the seaside.