Cold

• Artist: CocoNutRose
• Description: During a class last year in high school, someone called me cold hearted,
  so I wrote them this poem telling them just how I felt.
• Date: 07/15/2008
• Tags: cold depression hurt anger

I'm cold hearted
I'm not loved

I'm steel cold
I wish I'd fly like a dove.

I wish I could love
I wish I could tell.

My emotions are fatal
my emotions do well.

I wish I could die
I know I'm not wanted

Too many people have said
I'm cold hearted…

I love too much
And care so well.

My love unbearable,
Untouchable, oh well.

I guess I should leave
this mystic horrid place

No one
in this utopian space

Would want to bare their hand
Upon her beautiful face.

I'm sorry, for all
this Maidens Farewell.

Goodbye cruel world,
Goodbye, farewell.

Comments

[Amayachi_Mika_Sayomi]

The comment under mine has a point, but he could have conveyed it without being as pompous and showy as he did. I like the idea, I get the notion of what you're trying to say, but try to use different words for rhyming. "farewell" and "Well" have different words that could work.

[Toastbusters]

This is unfathomably bland.
If you're not cold hearted, maybe you should inject your piece with some emotion - as it reads so brutally flat.
Frankly, I tend to agree with your classmate, if this is an attempt at emotion.

[Winry_Rockbell799]

Nice work with the rhyming here and I like how you captured the emotions well and I like the line "would want to bare their hand/ upon her beautiful face" that captured the image very well. nice job!