• Chantry,

    This has been an interesting year with many twists and turns. It has been a confusing year and a year of real discovery for me. I know that it has been somewhat of a tough year for you too, with your breakup with Allie and the roller coaster these last few months have been. I had thought when we talked before at the rest home that I was clear about my intentions, but if I wasn’t, I feel that writing you a letter and letting you know how I feel is in order.
    When I said I had liked you for a long time, it really was a long time. Sometimes I wondered why I did like you because it wasn’t returned. Then when I finally told you I did like you, it was as if it was out of my system. It was very strange and I couldn’t explain it. The whole situation in Arsenic was uncomfortable. It was as if the person I had liked wasn’t there anymore. Your asking me if I wanted my first kiss before Arsenic was awkward. I want a relationship in the future based on trust, real sincere concern and a solid friendship. Since we talked at the nursing home, at times I have felt stalked and controlled. That wasn’t a good feeling. Perhaps I have been rude by not making all of this clear to you, and I am very sorry.
    I hope we can truly move on and you can find what you think you need. When I said what I need right now is a good friend I meant what I need is a good friend. I really don’t want a boyfriend in high school you know. I do hope that you won’t feel bitter about this whole thing or that anyone else caused it (especially other boys), because that is not true. You deserve someone who has some real feelings for you. And right now, that is not me.
    You said you liked how you could talk to me. I hope you still can and that you won’t harbor bad feelings toward me for my honesty. I just wanted to make sure you knew what I was thinking and I wanted to make this easier for myself and hopefully you as well. I really would hate to lose your friendship, that’s all I really wanted!

    Becca