• I have always unsure about why it has such a hold on me. I understand that when you think about death constantly can't really live. I could be sitting with a group of people and my heart will jump and some ridiculous way my life could end will flash before me and I am honestly scared that it will happen. It isn't always me. Sometimes I imagine what my life would be like if certain people who are close to me would suddenly and tragically be taken from me. How would I survive. Bad weather, car rides, news stories...they are all triggers to my constant anxiety. It didn't use to be this way. I know that I can't continue to live this way. It's not healthy. I refuse to be medicated and talking really doesn't help.. what can cure my fear? My obsession with death and dying?