• Smiling, laughing, joking, and talking. I've finally managed to get back to how I was before, even if just a little.
    I smile more now, laugh without feeling pained. I'm beginning to open up and joke around and I've finally started to feel more relaxed while talking with others..
    I'm not as guarded as I was before..
    I'm still afraid of certain things, and I know that won't change, but I'm beginning to feel happy again, even if only a little.
    Sure, I won't ever be the same after loosing her, but who would? I've grown some since that time. I've matured. I'm not as angry anymore. I've stopped hurting... But only a little. That pain won't ever leave completely, but it's starting to dull... Or it was.
    I don't know why, but, it seems you might leave me too..
    Don't go..
    You where there for me when I was hurting most and so in need of your love.. You took her place and kept me safe. You held me when I cried, gave me ice cream when I was sick, helped me get ready for school, listened to all my drama, and, you laughed with me and my friends.
    You've been in more memories than I can count, and yes, some are rather bleak with you scolding me while others are bright with your smiles and laughter.
    I'll fall apart without you. I've still got so much to show you in my future. I've got things I still need to tell you. I have secrets I'll need you to hear. I'll need your advice and your hugs more than ever soon. I can't survive without knowing your there...
    You've helped me more times than I'd care to admit. You've seen me at my worst, but never at my best. You helped me collect the broken pieces when I lost her, and you also helped me to put myself together again. You've given me what I needed most, and I've tried my best to live the way you taught me.
    It hurts, it hurts so much to hear you say it, and, I know, you need me to be strong, but I never was strong to begin with... I've always been weak. Always hurting, always crying, but never showing it. I suffered in silence, and you noticed it. You helped me out of that place and guided me with a warm hand to something better and brighter.. Without you, I don't think I'd be here now..
    So please, I'm begging you..
    Don't go...