• User ImageI Really love how you have been...




    BEFORE I BEGIN! Id like to state that i am human, humans have emotions, and thats what you are most likely to see here being expressed. If you are easily offended, please stop reading, i will not be held responsible for any butt-hurt.

    Hello to all of you, some of you may know me, some of you might have seen me here and there. I haven't been all around that much anyways, so Nice to meet you, I am an a*****e.

    Yeah that's right, you read that right, I am an a*****e. The reason why I am an a*****e is because every time I try to express my opinion over something, it seems to be to overly extroverted and or is completely taken the wrong ******** way. People get offended, people get mad, people get upset and someone always yells out from the group, "You are such an a*****e!"... Yeah im that dude.

    ALLOW ME to enlighten your mind and tell you a story..

    Not too long ago, A couple of years back, Id say about 4 years ago. I met this young man called Derek, he was my best friend and we used to spend a lot of time together, in fact we did so much we seemed close as siblings. We met at a bar, that day i had went to the bar to actually try to meet a girl, maybe have a good time and possibly get some sex. I was there at the bar, and i noticed him, he was slightly drunk as i was, and he stood up, as he stood up since he was two stools away from me I somehow felt the urge to talk to him, normally i would never do such a thing but i did.

    "Oi, want to sit with me and have one last drink? I pay." He slowly turned over to look at me and smiled a bit as he nodded twice, i could feel a large pain and sorrow emanating from his forced smile. We talked a a lot, one drink turned to 3 and then to 7, it was fun having someone i could relate to somewhat and talk so freely to.

    From that day on we were friends, we did a lot of things together and went on nightly "women hunts". One night he confessed to me he had a drug problem and he owed a lot of money, I let him a bit and he took off, didnt see him for a week, later he returned. He had the complexion of a homeless person, smelled like one too, and this time he had asked me for more money, he was asking for 10 $ and he claimed his wife had just recently given birth, and now that he has a kid, he felt like he had a new purpose in life.I didn't believe him at first, i told him he was a liar, and he was enraged, he punched me and asked me to give him the money in a forceful way.. I felt as if i had lost a friend, due to drugs and i felt betrayed, so i told him. "Get the ******** out of my property you junkie, i have no money for your drugs, GET THE ******** OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!"
    He started sobbing and ran across the street, and then ran down a couple of blocks till i couldn't see him anymore. Later that night, i was watching the news, and there was a report of a homeless person that had broken into a toy store, stole a teddy bear, and was shot to death by the police because he resisted arrest and wouldn't stop running. I was slightly intrigued by the story, as the next scene rolled over, it showed a woman of around my age, or his age, i believe she was 23 ish. She was crying leaning over the dead mans body , whom was covered in one of those white blankets, she kept screaming "NOOO!!! NOOO!!" as she was pulled up i noticed she was carrying a baby, I felt bad for the woman. Then the policeman begins to talk and claims that the man seemed delusional and he was screaming "Its for my daughter!" as he was shot. Puzzled by the whole incident they didn't know what to do. The policeman pulls out a wallet with a few papers, a picture and an expired drivers license, from a bag that looked like the collected belongings of the corpse, and he shows the picture of the man, along his name, the cop also pulls a little card with the name of a local clinic for drug addictions.

    A cold shock ran down my spine as i had realized that the man who was shot was my best friend Derek.he had broken into the store to get his daughter a gift and he probably was going to rehab. I felt crushed and destroyed, I rushed to the scene and was confronted by his wife, i didnt know he had a wife, let alone she was pregnant...

    "Are you Manny?" I slowly nodded as i felt a bit of bitterness,i felt sorry for them and i couldn't bear the fact that if i had given him the 10 $ i might have prevented this. She grabbed my arm and told me.

    "You changed him a lot, he wanted to leave his addiction...., so he took a job as a garbage collector for the city...he was actually working for once, he also loved me again..., we barely had any money... to pay for new clothes or good food but we managed to scrape along but......... he always said you were his best friend ever."

    All I could do was swallow hard, take a deep breath... and tell her...

    "Naw... I was an a*****e to him."

    She looked at me puzzled and confused, but later started crying as I turned my back on it all and walked away. I walked away from her, from my friend, and from myself. I am an a*****e.



    User ImageAlways here with me, despite the odds.