• Have you eever wondered if your life truly sucks? I have wondered that. I look at everything I have faced, and realize my life does truly suck. I have gone through 17 years of torture. Almost never did I see happiness. I am now at the end of my School life and I realize. I have no where left to run once I graduate. I used to use school to escape all my troubles. Now I am going to have to face everything. Lets hope I can get up more than I get knocked down.
    Anyway, this is supposed to be me telling you all of my suckish life. So, here we go I guess........

    My life has always sucked. My parents were expecting a boy and got me. A girl. We moved in with my dad's rents and of course I got turned into a girly girl, far different than what I am now. At the age of four We moved to the cold state in the USA. I loved it, until my dad started to act stupid. He used to dissappear on us, my mom and me, to go out with his girlfriends. I was too younge to understand that was a bad thing. We were an army family at the time so we lived on post. After some stupid thing, my dad got kicked out of the army. We moved to an apartment. Mom would work so did dad, so when school was over I went to my babysitters and hid in a corner from them. The reason for hiding in a corner, was due to being hit with hands, wires, whatever they could get ahold of.

    Dad started having problems paying the bills, so we moved yet again at the end of my first grade year. We went to a house that was pure hell. I call it the Electric house. It had tones of loose wires all over that if you touched, your hair would look like the bride of Frankenstien(however you spell his name). We quickly moved after I ran away from the place and was brought back by a ploice officer after nearly falling off a cliff to save my zebra TY beanie baby.

    The next hell hole we moved to was a house with no insulation, enough that I had to sleep in the livingroom instead of my room because there was frost in it. One night we had a tremmor and part of the wall moved. We learned then it was a bad house. Still though we stayed. My dad was still dissappearing due to his needy girlfriends. Mom was going into a depression, and I was a little brat. A boy lived in the house a short ways away from mine. He always scared me. Used to chase me around with knives and try to strangle me. Mom had enough when he tore my shirt up. We moved after that.

    Next home wasnt a home. We were given a good area of land to build a house on. I liked that place. It was out in the wild where I could feel free. However, we lived in a tent. Mom always said it was a big camping trip. Me being about 6 at the time, believed her. As the days got colder and shorter, mom and dad knew they had to get me going back to school. We still had no home, so they sent me to live with my dad's mom till we got the house up.

    I was not very educated, so school was a struggle. This was in 2001. I was in school at 9/11. It really shcked us all. Anyway to get back on my story, In december my mom got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Sorry but look it up if you want to know what it is. There are many descriptions for it and I am tired of getting told I am wrong with what I say. I called my mom up on the phone and she said the thing no kid ever wants to hear, "I don't have a daughter. Stop calling me saying you'r my daughter." I became very depressed after that and didn't know what to do for a long time.

    After a while my mom got better and my parents moved to live with my moms mom. I finished 3rd grade and went to live with them too. It was scary. Mom was always sick, dad was alays gone and grandpa hated me. Grandma smoked alot. She has stopped now and I am glad for it. I finally figured out that school was my escape from that. I looked foreward to being at school and away from my family. My grandma helped me to get on the high honor roll for the entire fourth grade year. Dad left just a few weeks before my birthday. I like every kid, thought it was my fault they divorced. Mom and I moved next door after that.

    I lived there for my 6th and 7th grade years. During that time I dated a guy that was far from what a 13 year old needs. There was 3 years difference and he liked to play with me, but I knew it was wrong. I got used to his games and decided that it was normal. I ended up having to move to my dads and it hurt him. I still wish I could find him and apoligise.

    I moved in with my dad and his wife, and learned my dad was pure hell. Loads of chores enough that i didnt sleep till 2 am each night, school, S.T.A.R. program every Thursday. It stressed me out and one day my dad was really mad. I was in the kitchen sweeping, and he came in and started yelling that I wasn't doing it right. I started crying and he told me to stand up with my hands on the microwave, my back to him. He took off his 2 inch wide leather belt and started hitting me with it in my butt, legs, back, shoulders and once in my head. I screamed for the entire time he was doing it. After that I went to a Teen crisis center, for suicidal thoughts. I was 14 at the time.

    After I got back, my dad was no better. Still gave me chores to do till 2 am, and hell every chance he could. My stepmom didn't do anything, just layed in her room with migranes. Her two boys came to stay with us that summer and I had to direct my dad's anger at me sohe wouldnt hit them. I would often cry at night then. During the time after my hospitilization, I only got a meal about once every 4 to 6 days. Even though that may seem unbelievable, and many of you will tell me to stop trying to get a pity party started up, it was true. One day while I was cleaning, my dad yelled at me then took the rest of the family, leaving me to scrub the floors with a tooth brush.........Military torture. I began going into a homicidal/suicidal rage. I was going to kill him when he got back. but I couldnt. I saw my stepbrothers and realized I couldnt Kill him infront of them. He yelled at me to get out of his house. So I did. I walked two miles before the police picked me up and took me back.

    My dad told the police that he didn't want me because I was suicidal. So the police officer took me to a hospital for a suicidal evaluation. As I was talking to the nurse my dad came in. I knew thatI couldnt say anything after that. So when the nurse asked me why I wanted to kill myself, I kept quiet. She told my dad to leave the room then asked me again. I told her that the reason just left the room. She was shocked, so I told her everything he did to me. Again I was sent to the teen crisis center. This time they were amazed that a kid that should be 100lbs was only about 70lbs. So I told them all I faced.

    After that I was sent to live with my dad's mom. I went to school and during my sophmore year I got raped. No one believed it was a real rape, but I still know. I still remember all the pressuring letters saying if I didn't he would tell everyone how much of a whore I was. Anyway. I got sent to a small school where I still go to. I am now in my senior year, and set to graduate in December.

    Now everyone knows how much my life sucks. you can choose to believe this if you want, but dont hate. I have moved on and plan on going to college to make something of myself. For those of you who think I complain to much, aka the peoplewho I hang out with in towns, SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. I am not an entirely immature person. I just have had a very missleading life, so I dont know how I am supposed to act. Stop putting me down and treating me like I'm lower than dirt. it just shows how stupid you are. Anyone else that does not know me, now you do. This is me. This is my hell