-
here i am again
telling about my life
but again i'm not looking for pity
in fact i could really careless what you think
not to be rude or mean
but to warn you indeed
so you don't get hurt at all like i have been
so don't take it persionally
when you might turn to me to tell me what you think
and i just look at you and berfore you say a word
i tell you i don't care
it's just that i'm done giving a damn about anything
cause when i do,when i start to care or voice an opion
it all gets shot to hell,i get into unwanted arguements and cause trouble
so when i say
"my mom is obbsessed with a man who beat her
and hit my brothers.i've had my heart broken
and tore so many times,i never thought i would make
it out alive,where i cried myself to sleep everynight
and still do til this very day,i have to pretend to
be happy to be bubble like nothing would ever
break me.Like i don't think about sucide and giving
up on the world.Like i've never fallen on my
knees and screamed and cried and begged God
to just take my life to let me die,because
if people only knew the real me,only knew that
i can't stand to be alone,but i can't stand to
be around people.that i think too much but not
enough,i'm smart but i don't show it,i don't care what
people think about me,but i'm so self conscious
around people,that i can't trust a sould,i can't
let anyone in without feeling like i
can't reveal too much about myself,"
so here i tell you
i let you into my world
i let you know how i truely feel
here i am trusting you but not fully
so at the end
what's it gonna be.
will things change?
will you just act as if nothing ever happened as
if you didn't just read this?
will you judge?
or will you feel sorry for me or sad even though i don't want pity?
or will you think i'm mental,weird and i just wasted your time?
so at the end what will it be?...
i cholse to go on acting
happy,acting bubbly
like nothing will and never could hurt me
like i don't cry at night
like i don't cry myself to sleep every night
like i don't think about sucide
but never could do it because i'm to
damn stubborn my will is much to strong
for me to give up on life just yet
because when life knocks me down
i have to get up to show people
nothing can break me or at least
pretend like i'm okay like nothings wrong
so i'll go through life
fakeing the same old smile and laughter
pretending like i'm okay
not letting people know how lost i feel
that i wanna give up
but i can't
so i'll keep faking the same old smile and laughter
the same bubbly but quiet personalty
til the day that i die...
so i'll ask you one
more question
answer it or not
tell me or don't...
do you still feel like you know me?...
like you've known all along that
i've been faking every smile every every laughter..........
- by emo skater__gurl2114 |
- Non Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/03/2010 |
- Skip
- Title: On the Inside
- Artist: emo skater__gurl2114
- Description: How I feel and what it's like.
- Date: 01/03/2010
- Tags: inside
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