• Dear Virginia,
    You are too old to believe in Santa Claus. You are eight years old and I can’t believe that nobody has told you that Santa Claus doesn’t exist yet! There is no such thing as a “Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick” that brings you presents, it’s just your parents sneaking down the stairs on Christmas Eve and putting presents labeled “From: Santa” under the tree. “Santa Claus” is just an excuse for parents to give their kids more presents without the kid nagging for stuff every other day and becoming spoiled little brats. They can just say, “Well, ask Santa for that for Christmas.” In fact, I think you are probably under the impression - seeing how you still think Santa exists - that the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny are real too. No. They are also just figments of your imagination. When you lose a tooth and put it under your pillow, your mom or dad sneaks into your room, takes the tooth, and replaces it with money, all just so they don’t crush your stupid childhood fantasies. As for the Easter bunny, that’s just a way stores can make more money. Parents everywhere buy candy for their children on Easter, then say it’s from the Easter bunny. You must be pretty naive to fall for that when you see the candy in stores everywhere around Easter time. Oh. And another thing. We are all born to die. Everyone dies one day. That’s another thing your parents probably haven’t told you. So just give up. It’s what we were made for. Life isn’t fair. It never willl be. And since I’m getting fired after writing this, I bid you adieu, you will never hear from me again. I must now go take a long walk off a short pier. Goodbye, adios, and have a good day.

    So long world,
    Your imagination