• Prologue

    "You always loved me, more so than anyone else; I've yet to realize the full extent of the sorrow destined to befall me. I fear my mind would perish, as my body lives on as a shell of its former self. Despite the many misfortunes that seemingly cease to end, you maintain a smile as large as your heart. You were the epitome of innocence; at any given moment I appear to doubt myself I think back to that horrid moment of our lives then, realize not only was it needed, but pleasurable as well. The taste of revenge, simultaneously ending my impulsive behavior, was a taste so wonderful that I could eat it anywhere, anytime and feel instant gratification. Perhaps the only downfall to the events that have transpired here, is that the loss of my violent impulses make this harder, not to mention ironic. Nevertheless, this must happen, but know that although I may be leaving this world, our love will always be forever, Penelope.", I reach towards the gun, and relieve myself of this world; my pain ends alongside my sorrow.

    Ch. 1, Perfect


    "Vincent", I say with reluctance. We were to state our name aloud, so others aside from the teacher can identify us easily. I've been of shy nature for the longest time, incapable of forming genuine bonds with those around me. Perhaps the only creature I've bonded with is my dog, Penny. Penny the Pit Bull, a misunderstood breed, much like how I feel, yet both of good intention. "Here, at our community college, we're a very accepting bunch. We like to give those with less than impressive grades a chance to shine amongst others, and become a success despite the odds.", said our teacher, Mr. Larvin. He proceeded to discuss the many aspects of his class, Mathematics, and I began to slowly drift in to my imagination. I was very imaginative, I'd say more so than the average person, but perhaps a bit much. "Vincent! Vincent!", I faintly hear as I realize I'd been dreaming; I awake to my teacher standing before me. "Look, Vincent, my class may not interest you much, but it's necessary to pay attention, alright? Lets not get off to a bad start here, I'll overlook this with the hopes you'll be a bit more attentive.", and with that he walked back towards his desk. I realize my next class had begun, so I hurry off with the hopes I'd not be late. Surprisingly, I appear to be the first one here. the teacher looks at me with confusion, and I realize I'd slept much longer than I originally thought. I look towards the clock, and realize that it's 5:10PM; classes have ended for today. I'm assuming my teacher let me sleep, perhaps to show me the importance that being attentive needed. Maybe he didn't have any classes aside from my own? I'm not sure, but at this point I'd like to head home.

    I travel from the campus by foot, as my home is within walking distance. A beautiful Spring day, everyone is managing their backyards, mowing lawns, the usual. I near my house, and hear my dog bark, somehow she knew I'm home. My father, also Vincent, opens the door with delight, "Hey son, how was your first day?". "Not too bad, I slept through a bit of my clsses though", I said a bit worried as to what he may say. "Don't worry, you'll just have to make up for it later. Come inside, Penny would like to see you.", I follow and get tackled down by her. I recieve many kisses, and after a few minutes I'm finally able to get up. I didn't mind it, she was adorable and she did it because she missed me. "Alright, lets eat!", said my mother, Penelope. She turned to my father, "So, how did Vinny do today?", she says while looking at me. "Not too bad, he has to make up some work he didn't finish but otherwise a great day.", he says as I sigh a breath of relief. "It's hard to believe you're already twenty Vinny, you've made me so proud.", mother says with genuine happiness. I smile and continue eating, I wasn't much for talking, but that's how I like it. Despite what may happen it just felt like my life was, well, perfection.

    Ch. 2, Broken Shell

    I awoke next morning, a bit early to be sure not to miss class. I say my good byes to my parents, grab an apple, and with that I head out. I make my way towards campus, walking casually while taking in the scenery. I had the time, so I figured why not enjoy it? I hear the unmistakeable, powerful siren of a passing policeman's vehicle. I think little of it, as it did not concern me, and proceed down the side walk, approach the parking lot, then notice a woman who catches my eye. She seems to be in a hurry, carrying a caged animal I can't quite see. "Could this be in relation to that car...?", I mutter as I begin to trudge along to the apparent severity of the situation; "I couldn't imagine losing Penny.", I again mutter as I make my way towards the entrance. I arrive last, but on time to Mr. Larvin's delight. "I knew you wouldn't disappoint, welcome back Vincent.", I take my seat and class begins. Despite what my grades may have you believe, I'd say I'm fairly intelligent, more so than those of my age, twenty. After what I felt were some easy problems, class seemed to fly by almost as if I had been dreaming. As I take my leave, I hear "Wait, Vincent. Your second class for today is canceled, sorry to say, go on ahead to English.", I turn, open my mouth as if to talk but nothing came out. I had many questions regarding the events that I had viewed this morning, but my shyness yet again got the best of me; perhaps it was for the best. I give a nod, and as I pass my Science class see a blockage of caution tape.

    I see what I thought was a bloodied stain upon the floor, and to my horror I was right. As I was spectating, I bump in to a girl, Melony. She too, was viewing the large spectacle before us; "Sorry, I didn't mean to get in your way.", she says to me, a face full of tears. I realize now these events involved her and to my astonishment say, "That was my fault; why are you crying?", she turns to me as more tears begin to appear. "My boyfriend broke the shell of my turtle, I brought him in to class so we could study his anatomy. I had broken up with my boyfriend after class, and immediately he grabs my pet and...well he threw him. His shell broke, and he's in critical condition.", she seemed to do well despite what she described, she likely wished to talk with someone. "He sounds horri--", "He wasn't horrible, at all, not until today. I won't forgive him either way, I cared for my turtle more than some people even, he never hurt me.", she says with what appears to be a shift from rage from sadness. "I understand completely, I have a dog that I feel exactly the same about. I'm sorry about what happened here, are you alright now?", I say with a bit more confidence; "No, and I won't be for awhile. That doesn't mean I don't want to be though, it's just, well you seem like you understand.", she seemed more neutral. We continued chatting for the longest time, and I again missed the majority of my classes. We had sat on a bench outside the building; she told me the woman I saw was our teacher. I recognize her now, and take solace in the fact that she rushed Melony's turtle to the vet. I walk home, and without thinking lie to my parents. They think I attended all my classes, maybe it won't affect anything, but nonetheless I still wish I hadn't said it. I head to bed, and while thinking about the day's events, realize something important. I, too, had broken my shell as well; I took a huge step forward and I'll hope for the best. I had a nagging feeling, however, that I had a problem with socializing for a reason. I ignore that for now, and head to sleep, awaiting the next day with excitement.

    Ch. 3, Temptation

    I had set my alarm for the usual time; I don't feel I could contain my excitement as I await the beginning of classes. I awoke, and without a moment's notice begin dressing. As I ready myself, I ponder the thought of a perfect life; I was satisfied yet crave more in life. I realize there isn't such a thing as perfection, I used the term loosely to describe my complete satisfaction, and more often than not regarding happiness as I felt I couldn't be happier. Either way, I know what I want, that I want to experience this, and with that I head out. As I speed my way towards campus, I realize I hadn't said my good byes, to my parents or my dog, or even eaten. None of that mattered though, as I mustn't be late upon arrival. I reach the campus, and i no time the classroom; Melony was in my second class but the thought of it all had me eager, albeit anxiety-ridden. Mr. Larvin seemed off today, perhaps a bit depressed. I shrug it off, figuring it wasn't my business, but really I didn't want to be late to Science. I head there , nearly tripping over myself quite a few times, and see our room filled. My happiness immediately fades to confusion, then ultimately sorrow as I realize why she hadn't been here. She was likely mourning, or attending her turtle, likely with the teachers aid. I assumed the latter, as I noticed the teachers absence as well. "Sorry, I feel ill, you'll have to excuse me.", I say as I run out of the classroom.

    I head for the bench me and Melony had sat at, and take a seat as I try to understand what had came over me. That was completely out of character; I'm repulsed by myself as I regain composure over the shock of what I envisioned. Perhaps it was best to ignore, so long as no one else finds out I should be alright. I can't face my substitute though, not now; I attempt to leave campus and here, "Vincent!". Mr. Larvin motioned me over, and I hesitated, but not for long as I slowly approach. "Vincent, are you alright?", "Yes, sir, just a bit ill but otherwise fine.", I say as I attempt to walk away again. "I think I know what happened; are you aware of your OCD? It's in your medical records as the only noteworthy mention.", I freeze dead in my tracks as if he physically gripped me, holding me in place. "I....", nothing would come out, as if I had once again entered a shell, a much larger one. I couldn't say much, as I had so many thoughts racing through my mind. How would this relate, and why wasn't I aware? "I was under the impression, Vincent, that you had intrusive thoughts. That wouldn't make you any less of a good person than you already are, it's not really in your control. Just acknowledge the fact that they're intrusive, you likely didn't want to have a thought like that, correct?", he says with a bit of a grin, his words comforted me and made me understand a bit. "I....", still nothing, and with that he gave me a nod, as if he knew I had to leave. I hurried home, as nice as he was I knew that I had to chat with my parents about this. I enter, without so much as a knock thanks to my key, and blurt out, "Why didn't you tell me I had OCD? I--", "You didn't need to know if it wasn't bothering you, why would it bother you now anyway?", said my mother with shock, maybe due to my skipping of school but nonetheless shocked. I pause, I didn't want to let them know I had been talking to someone, in fear of not seeing them again, but I had to say something. "I guess interacting with the teachers more than I would in high school brought it out or something.", I knew it was obvious I was lying, but luckily they hadn't any evidence against that. At least, I'd of liked to have said that, but I was wrong.

    Ch. 4, Torn

    Thankfully, father was gone, as he'd have been a bit more harsh. I'd likely have been yelled at, as well as him stating that I must be driven with him. I'd like to avoid that, retain my freedom somewhat and branch out, so I had to prevent that with any hopes of meeting Melony again. "We've gotten calls from nearly all your teachers, we know you've been skipping classes.", those words drilled in to me, as if it created an open wound through which my intentions were apparent. It's as if she peered in to my mind and read my thoughts, ready to counter my every move. I ran over, my rage empowering me, my hands gripped firmly around her neck; she struggled to no avail. It's as if I felt the life drain from her, yet my grip rapidly began to tighten well past her death. As if I weren't ready to let go, but more so due to the sheer pleasure I took in sustaining my anger than the fact that she's gone from this world. "Care to explain yourself, or would you like for your father to get home?", awakened from my dark state of mind, I simply walked past her and towards my room. The thoughts persisted, I continued to caress the thoughts to my delight, as well as my horror. I lie on my bed, tormented by my confliction of emotions, when suddenly I feel a great pain in my gut.

    "Penny, don't jump on me like that!", she landed right on me, then proceeded to kiss me as I gasp for air, all the while laughing. I realize, she was somewhat a manifestation of my good qualities, a reminder that I've never been a monster. If I were capable of such kindness, surely I couldn't have demons such as those inside me. I'm certain now, that these thoughts were definitely not of my own will, yet I couldn't just ignore them. Perhaps I should just shelter myself as I've done all along? My world is slowly being torn apart, yet it's not too late to stitch it back, it will be as if nothing happened. "Vinny, are you alright?", it was my mother, I feel remorse as well as an overwhelming feeling of family. I loved my parents, along with Penny; "I'm alright mom, sorry about that.", I say happy as can be. I lack the self restraint to refrain from meeting with Melony; perhaps I should be thankful that father were to drive me. I owe it to them, after all, as they had gotten me in to this college. "Your father will be home soon, he'd like to talk with you! I'll see you downstairs, Vinny.", my high spirits are crushed. No matter what I were to say to myself, I fear the confrontation with him. My body is being torn up by my many conflicting feelings; I feel mentally drained to the point of exhaustion. I begin to fall asleep; I wished to stay asleep in some ways, things would be easier should I not have them weighing down on me. In the midst of my slumber, I have quite the dream. I envision myself in a dark area, beneath ground with mother beside me. I lie with her in what appears to be in one of many pits, in a crypt of sorts; her decomposing body embraced within my arms. I appear to be crying, yet I ponder the possibilities as to why; was this of happiness or...? I'd rather not think like that, and to my relief yet horrow, I awake to the booming fist of my father pounding on the door, shouting my name loud as can be. I see Penny, in a position alongside me reminiscent of mother in my dream. Perhaps my dream was affected by the events that happened prior, but I've no time for such questions as my father awaits.

    Ch. 5, Expectations

    "Open u-! -hy ---n't you --wnstairs yet?!", it was hard to make out what he was saying, as his incessantly loud knock had gotten Penny into an uproar in fear of the unknown. "Shut that damn dog up!", he says overtop her bark. I remain silent, and proceed to calm her. Over a short span of time, he suddenly stops; a rather odd action given the situation. I breath a sigh of relief, but to my dismay I hear this distinct jingle; slowly but surely he approached. My breath hastening, my heart in near-synchronization, rapidly increasing to the point where both begin to escape me. I gasp for breath, my heart begins to slow; "Get the hell up!" I hear as I lie on the floor. He's yelling with such volume, yet I hear but a faint echo as everything begins to darken. I fear for the worst; my father kneels beside me, and his faded, crackling voice yells for mother. "Penelope! Get an ambulance!", mother acted immediately, father carried me down the stairs; barely conscious yet I feel their love. I slip into darkness, only to awake to a great, blinding light.

    "Glad to see you wake up, you had me worried for a minute there.", a nurse tending to me says with a reassuring smile. "I'll alert your parents, they're going to be overjoyed to hear you're ok.", she says as she walks out. I eagerly await their arrival, knowing my wrongs are surely to be oversighted by my recent troubles. I've almost forgotten, what exactly did happen? Somehow, like my impulsive tendencies, this too had a familiar feel. "Vinny!", cried mother, she was visibly distraught yet cried tears of joy. It was a good feeling, a needed feeling; I realize now why I was so desperate to meet Melony, I crave the attention. "Son, I'm sorry for going off on you like that. I guess we didn't expect to have any more issues like this, but we should've been prepared. At a young age, you had a lot of panic attacks, and afterwards would forget the whole thing. We figured it would be best for you not to know, because you eventually just got over it. I'd also like to say that your OCD developed around the same time, plus it went away around the same time too. We really care about you, I want you to always remember that, okay?", I take that in with a bit of shock, as well as relief.

    This nagging, persistent feeling of familiarity had finally been satisfied; in the proceeding days I realized it's presence had disappeared. I now only take Mr. Larvins class, as I had missed a great deal of the others. In my short time span of interactions with him, he has proven himself to be trustworthy, as well as kind. My father told me I were to get a job now, as I had the time; I still feel he truly does not understand. As for my mother, she seems to let father do all the parenting, but at the very least she talked with me; our bond was a special one. Father drove me all around today, I applied for many positions; in a way I'm excited, yet nervous which is to be expected. I'm curious what job I'll land; I give my parents a hug and head upstairs. My life had returned to a more peaceful one, and if I were to define perfection, surely this would be it. I hope it stays this way though; I feel like interacting with so many people could affect me one of two ways. Either, for one, I begin to adjust to a more social lifestyle accompanied by a newfound confidence in myself, or two, interacting with all those people would drag my demons out of their cage. The very thought of experiencing my traumatic events worried me, but I realize now I cannot live in fear.

    Ch. 6, A Thin Line

    I awoke to the start of a lawn mower, our neighbors have taken matters in to their own hands I see, or rather, hear. Not a welcome start to my day, but I may as well get up; as I begin to dress I hear my alarm sounding off behind me. I became startled, and jumped a bit; Penny had woke as the mattress shook, greeting me happy as can be. I felt a bit bad that I disturbed her, but was happy more than anything to have a nice good bye. As I walk down the stairs, for a nice change of things I get a hug from my mother, accepting with open arms while simultaneously scanning the room for father. I wonder to myself where he had gone, then hear the start of an engine. As I had previously thought, he wanted to drive me now, I suppose they've not forgotten but rather, decided to approach the situation with a bit more care. "Go on, your fathers waiting! Have a good time Vinny!", and with that I take my leave. I see father in a car, a new car, waiting for me to sit beside him. "Son, I want to give you something to work for, I want your eyes on the prize, okay? If you can hold your job for 2 weeks, it's yours son. I want you to take this seriously, whether it's bagging groceries or taking orders, okay?", I smile, "Thanks, I won't let you down dad. I lov--", I was unintentionally cut off, but nonetheless saddened, almost hurt. It seemed to eclipse the joyous feeling I had, but I ignored that for now and began to build a bit of confidence; I knew father wanted me to ask about my job submissions, I was scared.

    We were nearing the campus, my nerves became apparent for a variety of reasons. I wished to know of any results of our job hunt, I was worried about class and how it'd affect me, and I was worried I'd run into Melony. I wanted to talk to her, but for both our benefit I decided against it. At this point I felt I'd never feel up to asking, so I decided to ask regardless, to show a bit of initiative. "So what happened with my job applications, anything yet?, I say as normal as I could, perhaps coming off a bit cheery despite being the opposite. "No luck, sorry. I'm getting you an odds and ends job though, so don't worry. Have a good day son, have confidence in yourself. I walk towards the entrance, a bit slower than usual, as yet again I had resumed hiding in my protective shell; the very though of chatting makes me ponder the possibilities of outcomes that would happen. For now, I'll avoid any unnecessary contact with others, as a safety measure. I walk into the class, and proceed to do my work along with the rest. A rather average day, followed by an expected, "Glad to have you back" from Steve. He wanted us to start calling him by his first name, I suppose as we're adults now it's natural despite how odd it feels.

    I step outside the building, and feel a warm, almost burning gust roll by. It was somewhat soothing, a comforting feeling to a rather unsettling experience; I don't wish to be closer to Mr. Larvin despite his kindness, perhaps for that very reason. I feel I could easily be pushed over what I imagine being a rather thin line, representing the neutrality between two different social lives. I hop into the car with father, and he has a rather unusual grin; I somehow found this unsettling. After we barely leave the campus, "I got you the perfect job son! You'll be mowing the lawn of our neighbors!", he says with excitement as I absorb that with a bit of confusion. "Weren't they mowing their lawn earlier today?", he looks at me almost with disappointment, maybe the fact I didn't show immediate satisfaction with the idea. "Well, let's say their mower broke down, and let's say I offered them our old one for a price, with the bonus of you working for them. You won't be getting paid, but the car is your real reward.", still a bit confused, yet I start to wonder what he really meant by that. It almost seemed like a mild form of racketeering by the sound of it, I somehow feel he played a part in their mower failing. We pull into the driveway, and I see a police officer waiting for us. If he had sabotaged their mower, what else could he have done, and why then? "Excuse me sir, but your wife gave us a call regarding a home break in. Nothing seems to be gone, that is, besides the dog."

    Ch. 7, True Colors

    "Ah, that's a shame, she was a good dog. At least nothing irreplaceable was stolen though, thank you officer.", father steps out of the car and the police officer walks off; I step outside the car and grab the officer's pistol. I run towards father, and as I near his location the police officer gives him a shout, to warn him I'd assume. As he turns, I whip him with the pistol across the face, then run behind him with the gun pointed at his temple. I see the police officer freeze, his arms raised, and as he begins to open his mouth I shoot him down. My father is yelling many obscenities, as I had just blown out his ear drum. I take pleasure in this; he valued Penny so little, and thinks she could be replaced as easily as visiting a pet store. I began to loathe him, my emotions running rampant; I kick out his leg and he falls to the ground. I point the gun at him, and order him to crawl over to the police officer; it seemed as if the events spanned several minuted, but were really near-instantaneous. that fact that he cared so little about Penny, the fact that he didn't even consider my feelings will leave a wound that's only left to fester; from this day forth I wouldn't forget. Yet again, I feel pushed towards the arms of mother, her unconditional love and ability to understand, as well as communicate with me were what my father had been lacking. "Come on son, let's go!", he yelled to me from the door; I hadn't moved an inch as I was devastated. I grew repulsed by the idea of being in his presence; I walked off towards the campus.

    I headed for the bench, it was somewhat symbolic of a place where I felt comfort due to my long conversations with Melony. I begin to tear a bit, trying not to draw attention, and had became lost in thought. Moments later, I hear a rather loud, "Vincent?!", I turn to the right and nearly slam my skull into Melony's. She noticed me choking up, not able to speak up, and looked at me with a bit of confusion. I began to cry, "I'm sorry but I've just been busy, and now Penny is missing.", she somewhat had an understanding, which reminded me that her turtle was badly injured last we met. "Well, we can set up some flyers if you'd li--", "She didn't escape, she was stolen, and what they do with stolen pit bulls is a horrible thing.", a bit out of character, but I had spoken over top of her due to my strong feelings over the matter. "More likely than not, they're used in dog fighting, and potentially a bait dog. Even if I were to find her, she could be completely changed for all I know.", I say with great sorrow but a lack of tears. As with Melony, when discussing my rough situation, I seemed to feel better, much better in fact. "Well, it's better than giving up Vincent, I'll put up fliers anyway.", I proceeded to agree, followed by a bit of conversation. I learned of her turtle's good health, but not much else as father had found me.

    Ch. 8, Breaking Point

    "Ah, there you are! Why'd you run off like that, and who's your friend?", "I need to get going now, but my name is Melony. Nice to meet you though!", she seemed as if she were trying to make that a bit too believable, as we both knew she was giving me time with father. "So why didn't you tell us you made a friend? How long have you two known each other? Did she have something to do wi--", he seemed to be rather unfazed by not only Penny's theft, but also seemed rather indifferent to our home being broken into. I attempted to cut him off, and steer the conversation towards a more comfortable discussion, "I just met her, she had been on the bench eating her lunch; I came over to wait for Mr. Larvin's class to end. I forgot to write down the assignment for today, sorry I left like that but the campus was clos--", "Alright son, that's enough. If you don't wanna tell me about her that's fine, but don't make things up like that. Have the respect to be upfront wi--", I again began to fill with rage. I lost my respect for him, I neither loved him nor hated him at this point; "I don't respect you because you don't deserve it.", he looked at me astonished at what I've spoken. He looked like he had been about to blow, his face turned a bright red and his eyes widened. I could've swore he nearly bit his tongue off holding back all his screaming, I can't imagine any other way he'd have the self control to cool down. He couldn't scream though, as he wouldn't when in a public area filled with people; class had let out as I would have told him before he cut me off. He proceeded to walk away, with no words left for me; I decided to visit Mr. Larvin after all.

    "Vincent? Is everything alright?", he seemed genuinely concerned, it was a good feeling. "No, my dog Penny was stolen and I'm not getting along with my father.", he stared at me for a moment before answering, "Sorry to hear about Penny, I'd expect the worst so you don't get your hopes up.", he gave an answer while his body gave another. The mention of Penny almost seemed to stun him, almost as if he knew her whereabouts. I stared back at him, as if he knew I had suspicions he had been quick to escort me out, with excuses of reviewing paper work and whatnot, a blatant lie as he was packing his bag a moment ago. The thought of him knowing something was maddening, I had many sadistic thoughts flowing through me as I slowly begin to walk; considering the pros and cons of such actions. While walking, I happen to, again, bump into Melony just like the first time. "Sorry about that, I wasn't paying attention.", I say to her this time as if our roles were reversed, "No probl-- Hey! Everything ok?", I gave her the rundown of my interaction with Mr. Larvin. She followed up with some rather interesting news, "Well, I don't know him too well, but his son was the one who threw my turtle. I can't imagine he's any better though, maybe his son is involved?", I here this horrifying news, knowing full well what he had been capable of, and ask Melony for the address. She seemed reluctant at first, but told me where to find Mr. Larvin's home.

    I dash home, with the intent to sneak into my room with our ladder, but realize father hadn't come home yet. I think little of it, until mother stops me with, "You know, you really hurt your father today. He's really upset with you, after he cools down you two...", I kept running to my room. I had saved my lunch money for the longest time, unknown to my parents, and grabbed a wallet I was given at a young age for allowance. I never did end up getting an allowance, I realize as I fill my wallet. I run back down, my mother speaks to me but I couldn't quite make out what she said. I headed for the pay phone and called a taxi; I didn't care if I were trespassing as the thought of having Penny there was all it took to push me to such extremes. As we ride along, it's a good drive, but not too far; the area seems more beaten up. I realize we were in a much poorer part of town, and I see his worn down looking house. The sight of it almost struck fear into me, but I ignore that and paid the man appropriately. I begin to look around as much as I could, I couldn't see in the house though. After a brief time of looking, I see a car turn its blinker on. I took a drastic measure and ran into a bush, thorned of course to my discontent. I see about seven men step out, they looked like thugs. I now begin to realize what I've really gotten into, and as they approach the house I begin to panic.

    Ch. 9, Desperation

    I soon realize I'm beginning to have a panic attack, the first since that incident with father. I had researched a bit what to do in the midst of an attack, what immediately came to mind was to try deep breathing. At least, I would've but they were just feet away from my position. I couldn't afford to reveal myself, so I resort to diversionary tactics; the thought of Penny, her companionship since her upbringing fills me with joy, followed by sorrow. We raised her since she had been born; we took in my grandpa's dog shortly after he had fallen ill. He died not long after, then a few days later Penny had been born; we were all surprised with no idea she had been pregnant. The father of her had been given to my uncle, my mother's side, he didn't want Penny. Who knows if my parents did, but I'm glad we ended up with her; her mother died within a week of her birth. I became her caretaker, and in return she became my companion; we had a bond like no other. After a moment filled with memories, I begin to calm some; the men stepped inside. I hear them chattering amongst each other, they seem to be somewhat excited. I persisted, trying to gather info, when another car pulls up; Mr. Larvin steps out with a few more thugs. He seems rather indifferent to what's happening, the others seemed excited as the previous thugs did. They all follow Mr. Larvin, I hear him clearly as he seemed to be making an announcement, "Everyone, let's head to the basement!", and with that the house became silent. I work my way out of the bush, multiple scratches on my body, followed by heading to his front door; it was unlocked.

    I open it a crack, despite the outside the inside looked beautiful, something unusual is taking place here, I was sure of it. Thankfully, there weren't any thugs that had stayed behind, at least not within view. I step inside, and begin to look around; as I look through a nearby drawer I see a firearm and take it. I begin to search the surrounding are for ammunition, which I had luckily found; I didn't find it hard to believe to find a gun in his home considering the area. I needed protection though, if I were in a home uninvited filled with thugs, it was necessary. I see on display, the center piece of this room, a collection of photos. Upon close inspection, I see that every picture is of a different dog, it didn't seem to follow any significant pattern aside from the fact that they all wore a red collar. It was rather odd; I proceeded to his breath-taking kitchen and search his drawers. I open the knife drawer, and in the very back I see a knife more fitted to combat, perhaps it were to remain hidden as again this area is horrid. I believe there had been five thugs who stepped out with Mr. Larvin, plus the seven earlier meant I were potentially dealing with thirteen. I were no match for anyone, not even Mr. Larvin should it come to it, but perhaps I could best them with my wit. I proceed to head down to the basement, perhaps the worst idea I've ever had, but there was no turning back.

    I head to the stairs, and slowly make my way down; I begin to hear cheering and booing. It gets louder with every step I take, to the point where I can't hear myself if I were to scream. Speaking of that, I heart a high pitched scream followed by the crowd going wild. I slowly turn around the corner, and see what I'd have never thought to see, especially with Mr. Larvin; a dog lying on the ground, bleeding to death could be seen. I nearly broke down then and there; I plan to stop this whether Penny is involved or not. The crowd settles and they bring out two more dogs, realizing they were to fight any moment. They began placing there bets, then released the dogs into a cage just big enough for two. They were muzzled prior to that, but a strap around the back of the head had been cut to release them. The one dog turned back in an attempt to escape, the other lunged; the tore apart the dog effortlessly. I couldn't take it anymore, I began to ready my gun as I saw no other way. I let loose on them, the first few shots weren't hard considering the thugs were all amassed in a large grouping of spectators. Some of them began to draw there guns, there were 7 left and 3 had guns. I went on to the staircase to reload, as well as lure them over for an easy shot. They followed as expected, I shot three down before they caught on; at this point I hadn't a clue as to whether any died or not. "Penny, I'm sorry Vincent decided to leave you, I'll end your suffering though.", I hear Mr. Larvin say. I run down the stairs as fast as I could, and as I come around the turn they shoot me; my arm began to bleed heavily. They used my own strategy; the pain nearly made me pass out. Penny may be there, but she wasn't out of her cage; I realize I have a bit more time to act but not much. The rest of their guns were within range of mine, and considering they only fired with one gun I assumed that's all they had. I decided to try a risky maneuver, I removed my shirt and threw it, and as soon as I hear the shot I run out and take my shot. I land my shot, and realizing I took him out shoot again, a thug tried to grab for his gun in a desperate attempt to kill me. Unknown to them, however, I was out of ammo; also unknown to them was the fact I had been rapidly losing blood. "Vincent, you're no better than I. Look how many you've killed over a stupid pet?", I hear his harsh words; I decide to not respond so he couldn't attempt any trickery.

    I dash as fast as I could, and call the police from his home. I leave it off the hook, knowing they'd come regardless, and when I head down the stairs I see Penny. She had barely been conscious, her face muzzled and her body mutilated. I begin to completely lose it and run towards them, pointing the gun straight at Mr. Larvin. "I know you're out of ammunition, you've fired off as many shots as I had, with my gun. Your dog will die shortly, as will you.", the thugs step forth and he shoots them. I stare at him in confusion, "You made this easy, I get all their betting cash and you'll take the blame for their deaths; who knows what your fate will be, but I know I'll be free of prison in time.". He pointed his pistol at me, he shot me in my left leg, followed by the right. I screamed in pain, falling beside Penny as she die. She gave me a few kisses, until he shot her, standing overtop of us laughing. Her blood splattered over my face, and I began to tremble; I wanted to die. I grab my knife and stab him in his leg, he didn't expect it and he fell. I grab his arm and force it to the ground, despite my injuries taking their toll, and brutally sever his hand holding the pistol. He couldn't have shot me, as he his current pistol was identical to the one I owned, and he shot off as much as I did before I had to reload. I wanted that hand severed anyway; he attempts to push me off but I do the same to his other arm. I hold my hand over his throat, he slowly begins to suffocate, and I begin to tear his face up with the knife. His face wasn't recognizable afterwards; I pass out over him as the cops arrive.

    Ch.10, Beginning

    I had cared for Mr. Larvin, he helped me understand myself in ways I likely couldn't have, or at the very least not for awhile. Part of me wanted to believe, believe that Mr. Larvin cared for me too, but whether he did or not I cannot forgive his brutality. Penny meant everything to me, and I to her; as she lie beside me she managed to squeeze her tongue out despite the muzzle, and kiss me. He saw her, loving me though, he had the opportunity to leave her, yet he pulled the trigger with such ease. I wish I could go back and stab him more, completely mash his body into a bloody pile of his former self; I loathed him and any extension of his family. I killed many that day, yet despite that I'd gladly do it again to save her. I feel the urge to kill whenever I hear mention of her, I have such unquenchable rage that I needed an outlet. These thoughts felt new, yet familiar; I began from this day forth to embrace my suppressed nature, one that would begin to define me. Penny was a representation of good, a reminder that I wasn't a cruel, sadistic being. With her absence I felt as if my demons were let loose, and the result was not in anyone's favor.

    It has been a year since that horrid tragedy; a jury decided my fate. I suppose they understood my pain, so I had only been fined with breaking and entering. I was indifferent, I'd feel horrible no matter where I stayed, but I suppose freedom is good, although I didn't want to face my parents. The proceeding days of the trial, they were reluctant to speak with me, perhaps knowing I was capable of such horrors struck fear into them. Now, after all this time has passed, I remain home, soon to attend the college again. I wasn't nervous, but expected a rough time, especially since Steve's son had still been there. I hadn't respect for him, so I had began referring to him by name. His son, Ben, surely wished harm upon me; I was more than ready. Present day, I proceed to campus, appearing as shy as ever, yet really more willing than ever to converse. I arrive, not too early, not too late; apparently Ben is in my new Mathematics course.

    He gave me a look, not unlike what I gave Steve after our bloodied confrontation; I flashed him a grin that filled him with anger. He came over to me, "You better stay out of my way, I'll kill you if I have to deal with scum like you.", he says to nobody's surprise, although the teacher asked him to quiet down. He began to walk away, "I expected you to walk, you're as much a coward as your father, he had his group of pathetic thugs do all the work for him and look where that got him?", he turned around towards me and proceeded to punch. The teacher yelled at us, followed by calling security. I took the punch straight to the face, my eye blackened, he came to my side to continue beating me and I pulled a knife. I stabbed him in his leg, then as I rip it out he began to bleed heavily. He's leaning on the wall, holding his wound, and I turn to him. "You didn't give me an option, I had to defend myself.", the security arrives and we're both escorted out the building, then within moments different police officer's vehicles.

    Ch. 11, Intentions

    It mattered not where I reside, I wasn't wanted anymore. I feel as though jail would do me well, and would be a better environment for someone like me; fate wouldn't have it that way, it seems. Twice, twice so far I've evaded imprisonment; I don't wish for their sympathy. I knew they had remembered me, they seemed uneasy in my presence as if it were a year prior. It almost felt empowering, knowing men of great authority were nervous of my apparent potential to kill. This, this is the attention I've been missing. I need to feel powerful, I need to have purpose, and I need recognition. I say my friendly good byes to the officer, and realize I haven't a ride Neither cash or transportation, a truly worrisome predicament; I attempt to grab a ride off of passing drivers. I didn't consider it likely, considering I had been outside a prison, but I had to do something. I see a man in a pick up truck pull up, asking what such a young, innocent looking man had been doing here. I told him my story, and he was more than willing to help me out; I left out the bit of me provoking Ben as I needed to seem as innocent as I seemed. I told him, my address, or so he thought, but in reality I had hatched a devilish plan.

    We begin to have conversation with one another, he had been telling me he was on his way home to his family. He had gotten off from work, and out of the kindness of his heart decided to help me; I felt somewhat bad. We begin nearing the area, "So it looks like you live in a pretty rough area, huh?", "Yeah things aren't easy around here, not that there's constant violence but it's not exactly safe either.", the words flowed like a rich liquid from my mouth, it had become easy to fabricate lies. We arrive, and I invite him in for some punch; "I think I lost my key...do you have anything you can pick the lock with for me?". He turned to me as if to say, "I don't feel comfortable doing this.", yet proceeded to without a word. He got the lock and we step in, "Wow, you got a better house than me!", he truly seemed at ease. I head past him, making my way to the kitchen; I turn around and mercilessly slash the back of his skull up. He collapsed after two strikes, then I continue to mutilate his face. I felt increasingly powerful, as well as satisfied with each slash; it looked as if a pumpkin had been broken. I dragged him towards the basement staircase, and kicked him down, staring upon his now crooked, bloodied figure. I remove my jacket, place it in the passenger's seat, and drive off.

    Ch. 12, Tarnished

    As I drive along, memories of my father flooded my mind. After I killed Steve, he treated me different though, as if he along with the rest of the world were frightened. I almost feel like he taught me how to drive so I'd leave sooner rather than later. Perhaps I've put too much thought into this; many memories of mine seem different, as if the actions of others were for some sort of ulterior motives. I drove to a gas station, and headed to the store near it. I bought a jug to fill with gasoline, as well as a package of foam cups; I drive off past my house into a rather mountainous area. It's not uncommon for bonfires and the like to take place here, and my family didn't venture outside their usual routines much so it seemed like the ideal place to rid myself of this thorn in my side. I carefully grab the jacket and place it on to the ground, dumping all the cups on to it with the majority falling into place around it. I then drench the styrofoam, and it creates a gel that I light aflame. The man had apparently been a smoker, as he had a pack of cigarettes; he must've been kind to not smoke that whole time with me. Moments like that almost make me regret what I've become, but then I think back to the empowerment that came with deciding the fate of another, as well as the attention it garnered. Maybe I just want an excuse to harm others, to satisfy these thoughts that have become increasingly graphic, as well as frequent. I then think to myself, is this of my doing, am I truly having these thoughts?

    Sun set was near, the time was right; I toss the single cup I had held on to after setting fire to it. The spot where my jacket once was now resembled, from afar, a bon fire. This napalm-like substance would burn a good while, so while that burns away I scratch away at the license plate until it hadn't been legible. I leave further up, following the dirt road, well aware of where I was headed, and see my destination. I swing open the car door and pick up speed, approaching fast yet not too fast. As I near it, I jump out and watch as the car enters the river, visible up close yet unseen from farther away. It had become dark, and I wanted to leave before any sort of animals decided to show, using the my fire as a means of identifying my location. I begin to head towards it, making good progress, and it begins to dim. I realize now I am in danger, and begin to run as fast as I could; I trip and as I get back on my feet it's near gone. I began to worry, how could I have made such a fatal mistake? A panic attack ensues, and I attempt to deep breathe as move toward where I believe the flame was. I continue walking, fearing the worst, and see another fire light up in the distance...