• I never needed a push, or someone to hold my hand. I was used to being alone, in more ways then one, but if someone was to break into my bubble or my world I don’t know what I would do. I guess I would have to find a way to deal with it, or would run. Run away, seems like a cowardly thing to do, and I guess that’s true, I mean I used to make fun of my little sister for running away. She would run from all kinds of things, like big dogs and scary trees, but me and my older brother, Ren, we were far to adventurous. Sammy would always feel left out, but the truth was Ren and Sammy would spend all day together, whereas I would be lucky to spend even one day with either of them. Courtney and Kade didn’t help matters, they would play and I would always be left out. I learned not to complain and dealt with it, I would run around with my imaginary friend Shadow and we would spend all day in out secret hidden place.

    I haven’t been to that place since I entered intermediate school, but I never forgot the place or shadow. I wrote about it poems, and told stories to younger kids who would listen to them. That place was my strength, it was all I needed back then to get through the tough times like when Sammy got staff. Back then everything was so surreal it was scary, I would spend my days having nightmares and avoiding eye contact with anyone.

    Today everything is a blur and nothing seems real. Ren got a girl pregnant and Kade is at threat to go to jail for drugs, whereas Courtney is in danger of becoming drug head herself. Sammy is healthy, good but her grades suffer. Me, I’m doing as good as always, especially with the memory loss. Whatever I was blocking, and I had a good idea of what it was, I didn’t want to remember.

    “Earth to Lucy?!” Tabby said waving her nail bitten hand in front of my face, obviously annoyed with my attention.

    “What?” I asked propping my head on my hand.

    Tabby rolled her eyes, “Can you please pay attention! I mean here I am pouring out my heart and soul, and you are over here day dreaming probably about Tanner.” Tabby teased, tucking a strawberry blonde strand of hair behind her ear.

    “We are in MATH, Tabby, I’m trying to do my work before class is out so I can have no homework. Besides you know you are going to copy anyways, so should I listen or should I work?” I asked, when in truth I finished five minuets after it was assigned.

    “Well of course I’d choose both. Multi task we are teenagers!” She exclaimed.

    “BAM!” Tabby jump, both our eyes going up to Ms. Valor, our math teacher who just slammed a book on my desk, crumpling my homework.

    “May I remind you Miss Franks and Miss Monnick that you should be using this time to do your homework. Not to gossip, do we have and understanding?”

    “Yes ma’am.” we both said, but then I added, “Can I get copy of the home work, you just crumpled mine.”

    Well, Tabby’s eyes widen like a deer in the headlights of a car, and I just remained calm like always. The class was quiet like it always did when someone said a snide comment, which I didn’t. I really hated to turn in crumpled homework, but I guess the teacher seemed upset with that.

    “Why sure, but I’d like to see you after class, okay?” Ms. Valor asked, somewhat upset but then again sympathizing.

    I was actually glad Ms. Valor did what she did because now I could finally day dream in peace. I dreamed about the future when I would become a successful writer, and I wouldn’t have to depend on my parents for everything. It’s not that I hate Mom and Dad, it’s just that I don’t want to depend on them, I don’t want to be a burden to them. It’s not fair to them to have a daughter as useless as me. I didn’t have enough self motivation to try at school, so my A’s and B’s are probably not enough.

    The bell rang and the class room came to life with movement and idle gossip as they exited the room. I remained seated, and Tabby gave me that look that said, ‘talk-to-you-later-about-what-I-was-talking-about-before-was-interrupted’, I’m sure that is the only kind of look she has but oh well, that’s life.

    When the room finally emptied, I gathered my things and walked up to Ms. Valor’s desk, mustering up the best smile I could. I stood there for awhile, and the tardy bell rang and then the late bell- this was Ms. Valor’s off period- so I got a bit antsy, I hated being late.

    Ms. Valor turned around from her computer and gave me a small smile. “Lucinda, I hope you are aware I know when a child is not trying their best.”

    “I am, but just call me Lucy.” I said, shifting to the right.

    “Good, then I know you could do better then a 96 in this class. Don’t you want to go to college Lucy?” She asked, standing.

    “I do, but-”

    “Then, I sent a request to the counselor to change you into my AP class, and the same for the rest of your classes. I already talk to your parents, I hope you don’t mind, but they agreed it would be best for you.”

    “But-” I tried to intervened, obviously a waste of breath.

    Ms. Valor place a hand on my right shoulder, “The AP kids will love you, I assure you Lucy. I cant wait to see you in my class next semester.”

    And that was that. My normal boring life, was changed by me asking for a new homework paper.

    **********

    I walked into Communication Application class, with a look of dread on my face as I handed my tardy pass to Mrs. Cunning. Tabby waved at me and gave me the same look, but my eyes went to Tanner. Tanner has dark brown eyes and he is almost six feet tall, although he is extremely smart with foreign languages and philosophy. I just liked the way his hair would fall into his green eyes, which sort of matched my hazel green eyes.

    Okay, so I had a little crush on Tanner, but that is where it ended. I smiled as I passed him, and he returned it with flying colors. I sat down behind him, next to Tabby in the back right hand corner. I didn’t even get to put my stuff down for two seconds before Tabby opened her big fat mouth.

    “So what happen anything interesting? Btw I need to tell you about Aaron and how he……” My mind started to drift as I listened to her gossip.

    Out of no where a paper ball hit me on the head and I heard some guys laughing. I looked up and my eyes came into contact with a blue pair of eyes, Jake Hefferfield. Jake was the freshmen back up quarter back for varsity, he had a promising arm and ever better future. Jake wasn’t my type, brown hair, tanned skin, and a brain that gets closer to jelly with each and ever day that passes.

    “What do you want?” I asked, annoyed and slightly embarrassed.

    He did that cocky smile things jocks do, and walked up to my desk. “Your name is Lucinda, right?”

    “Lucy, Lucinda is old and lame sounding, so everyone calls her Lucy.” Tabby filled in, she’s had a crush on Jake since the beginning of the school year.

    “So Lucy, how about you let me take you to dinner?” Jake asked.

    I stared at him and heard his friends laughing, and that made me make up my mind. “No.” I turned my head back to my work and ignored him in till he went away.

    The lame thing for a guy to do, is to ask a girl out based on a dare or as a prank. It happened to Tabby back in the seventh grade, and it nearly killed her when she found out. I didn’t let people close to me, so she was one of the closest people to me besides the fact that she dresses like a complete nerd and a wanna be scene person crossed together, so I was hurt as well.

    So now there will be rumors about how a nameless freshmen girl turned down the freshmen football superstar. Also Tabby will be going on about this forever, or give me the silent treatement for trying to take her man, which I wasn’t. Maybe things will change next semester, maybe they wont, I don’t have a choice anyhow.