• As I sit in my room at 4 in the morning i sit and wonder what my life would be like if I chose different roads...would i still be a giant pothead if my body didn't act badly to it, would i still be a smoker if i choose different friends would i still have as many friends as i do if i decided to choose said different friends.Yet i realize that no matter what road I would have chosen it really doesn't matter because life isn't worth being concerned over...no one makes it out alive.
    They say that time is the greatest teachers although it kills all its pupils, I begin to realize that my few overall life fears may come into fruition if I don't change my ways...
    My first fear is that of dying alone, i realize that I may not be Casanova I am not the ugliest stick on the ugly try and my personality although at times demented are that for being a really good friend...but really not that of a boyfriend or husband, my overall need to help those who I am not really obliged to help overrides the ones that I am obliged to help...although the way I am making it sound now makes me sound insensitive and just like a douche bag. I shall clarify I am not an a*****e that would prefer to drink a few beers with the guys more often than watch a movie with a girlfriend (I really don't like beer to begin with but that is beyond the point) I will pay attention to my girlfriend do everything i need to do to be a decent boyfriend, but if my friends need help hauling a sofa to a new apartment i will more than be willing to help my friends than go to the spa with my girlfriend.
    My other fear is that of dying without being remembered, now most people will have this fear because no one likes to feel insignificant...the only problem with them and me is that for them to be remembered and be satisfied is to have their name on the newspaper...I want to be the guy that wants to be remembered forever in every country someone like Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad. Now don't think of me as to be arrogant as to want to be remembered as a god, I just want to be the type that wants to be remembered for changing mind to be a person that is remembered for his innovative ideas someone that can be remembered and be thought of as 'he helped humanity as a whole' yet it isn't going to happen where i am going to be remembered...I am just going to be sitting on my bed thinking at 4 in the morning about how i could have chose different roads in my life...