• Part 1


    I had sat. Watching. Waiting. I didn’t know what to expect. I had no knowledge, no insight to what was coming. I had to be out of my damn mind. My paranoia had finally evolved into a conscious, living being. A creature that was slowly eating its way into my thoughts. My mind was slowly being rotted from the inside, yes, this was certain. What else could it be? There was no way that I was sane. That, that perhaps it all wasn't a delusion. It couldn't be real. Things like that weren't real. Right?

    It had started in Northbrook, my home town. I had had no reason to return. I just felt like I had to go back, like the universe was calling me back. I had no family to return to, no job or friends that could draw me to that place. The sleepy little town which I had spent years trying to forget, trying to move past. But, we never truly get over our childhoods do we? We leave a piece of ourselves in our hometowns. No matter how far we go, we're never truly whole until we return. Never truly one.

    I didn’t live too far away. Three states over, to be specific. I just took my vacation, returned to Northbrook. I drove of course, I don't trust planes. And don't go and try to tell me that they are safer than cars, because they aren't. I find a pit of fear that pools into my belly when I fly. I just know with confidence that it isn't felt in a car. I think that my phobia revolves around control. Even in a car accident, you have some control over your fate. You can swerve the car or slam your foot onto the break until it turns numb. But in a flight, so high into the air, you have no control. You can simply hold on and pray for salvation, for life. But, it doesn't come, simply because no one is listening.

    But, that's not what this is about. I'm sure that none of you care what I believe. Well, in religious terms anyways. I was raised catholic, but it never truly stuck. I always had trouble believing in god. Believing in angels to watch over us. Believing in the good of mankind. Believing in fate, destiny, or some universal ******** plan. We can hide behind these beliefs if we so choose, but they are just lies; bedtime stories to help us go to sleep at night. They are simply words we recite to keep away the darkness.

    The truth is, there is nothing watching over us. There is no pre-devised universal plan for us all. There is no good left existing in mankind. I know, believe me, I know. I only wish that I didn't have to know, that by some divine ******** principle, everything was different. But, it isn't. I had my eyes opened to the truth that exists all around us. And now, I'm going to die because of it; going to die because of that godamn town. Because of that godamn field...


    End of Part 1