• I had always questioned my existence, my reason for being. I was always looking for a real reason that went deeper, beyond the obvious. Of course I knew why I existed. As an angel, my purpose was more that clear: to serve god and help his creation, man kind. And yet, I could never really grasp a feeling of self fulfillment from it.
    My ways of thinking and questioning had me quickly banished to earth, where I could be closer to humans, to realize that they were my purpose. But it changed nothing of my ways of thinking. I still felt that empty spot in my chest. That feeling that I was certainly meant to do more with this never ending charade of a life.
    One thing that did change, though, was my perspective on humans. My knowledge of them broadened into a spectrum so large that I found my self disliking the closeness we were now forced to share. Before my punishment, while I was still peacefully tucked away in heaven, I was far enough from them to never realize that their true natures were horrid. They were greedy, harsh, cruel. They could be kind though, sure, of course. But they were always looking to benefit themselves in the end. Then there were humans that seemed as if compassion was some completely impossible feat to manage.
    But in the end of all these thoughts, I always came back to one question. When you can live forever, what’s worth living for? There had to be something, right? I hoped. Because if there wasn’t, then what did I have to live so long for. Forever is a very long time. And as you go, it gets lonelier, quieter, and more miserable every step of the way. I wanted so badly to find the answer to my question. Little did I know that my purpose was run through me before I even realized what was happening. Literary.
    Being perched alone on the highest tower of the grand tower made it so easy to get lost in my own thoughts. I brought my head back down to earth as the sun sank lower into the horizon with each passing minute. I rose from my spot slowly and stretched. Father Ethan would be waiting downstairs for me so he could see me off. Time for a nightly trip around the city. Yay. My thoughts got more and more sarcastically sour with each passing day. Ethan was probably the only thing that kept me from losing my mind and being sent to hell.
    Father Ethan was my one and only friend. Of course, then again, he was the only person that could see me and had no choice but to be my friend.
    I laughed quietly at my own thoughts as I walked to the edge of the roof, standing directly above the large, open, stain glass windows. Bending down slowly, I gripped the edge of the roof and flipped forward, turning 180 degrees before sliding gracefully through the window. I landed with a quiet thud. Standing straight I raised my hand and brushed a few strands of wandering hair from my face. I descended the spiraling staircase slowly trying to listen for any sound of Ethan.
    “Ethan?” I called, listening intently for his answer, or his foot steps. I made it to the ground floor and as soon as both feet were on the ground I heard him call back.

    “Rose, there you are. I do believe we’ve talked about you calling me without saying “Father” Ethan.” He said with a small laugh. I just grinned and walked over to him with my arms open.
    “Yeah, of course Father Ethan,” I said, emphasizing the Father part sarcastically. I embraced my one and only friend gently and then stepped back to examine how time had ravaged him recently. “It’s good to see you again,” I said keeping the light smile in place. I knew the smile would vanish the second I walked out the large double doors, so I wanted to keep this little spark of happiness going. After all the years I’d known him only one thing seemed to be changing besides his age. He body was looking older and older every time I saw him. Or so it seemed to me. His face once so full of life was now full of wisdom. His bright eyes, once bright, were now dull, but full of knowledge. I hated watching this happen, because I knew I couldn’t hold onto him forever.
    I had known Ethan all his life, since he was only a small child when I found him. He had always been able to see me, and I wondered why. I’d spent more than a few years going over it, but never finding my answer. It seemed I could never find answers to my questions. But still, I couldn’t be happier to have Ethan. Like I said before, if it wasn’t for him the life I would have to bear here would be less than a miserable one.
    “Well Rose,” he said, interrupting my raging thoughts, and I was thankful for it, “I suppose your time has come to go for another night.” I looked at him gently but the smile faded quickly from my face.
    “Woo . . . ” I said as unenthusiastically as I could. He just laughed and patted my shoulder.
    “I know you’ll find the answer to your question one day, Rose. I know you will.” He said, and even though I felt there was no way I ever would, I couldn’t help but let that give me the tiniest shred of hope. I would be paying for it later when I was dropped back into my somber pool of despair when I could back in the morning.
    Humans annoyed me to the very core now a day. They were always so needy and wanting everything they thought they should have. They always prayed for material objects instead of what they needed. Do you think they ask for things we can offer, like good health, close family, love? No. They don’t.
    “See you tomorrow night then,” I said as I walked out the doors with a little wave before I disappeared into the night.
    “Yes, tomorrow,” he said softly. I caught his soft whisper on my sensitive ears. The night air felt good and it was a fairly warm night for once. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I walked, my long black coat flowing behind me as the wind played with it. The dimly lit lamps glowed softly, lighting the way of my walk. Since the church I lived in for the time being was in a city, humans in trouble were not hard to find. I was very grateful that only one human could see me or I would never go out for fear of being forever bothered by desperate humans.
    Just then a small muffled cough string of coughs interrupted my irritated thoughts. Hearing the coughs also made me realize how strangely quiet the city was for once. The fact that I could actually hear myself think was astonishing. I turned my head toward the alleyway from which the sounds were emanating. My eyes found the source of the noise and there sat a man. His clothes were tattered and dirty. His face was unshaven and his hair in dire need of cutting. I walked up to the oblivious human and watched the coughs become a little more violent with each heave of his chest.

    I sighed, feeling my angelic nature arise even though I tried so hard to suppress it. I shook my head and leaned down, placing my hand over his forehead, under his matted hair. A faint glowing appeared where my hand made contact with his head. The coughing eased to a stop and his breathing evened out until it was deep and peaceful and he slept calmly for what seemed like the first time in a long time.
    I straightened back up, looking around the dimly lit streets. One thing I hated about the city was how the lights blocked out the stars. I loved looking at them.
    Moving back along the sidewalk again, I was hoping that the night would continue to stay quiet. I might have been more worried about the uncommon silence, but I was enjoying it too much. It was rare to have such an empty night. So much space to myself. If I still had my wings, I would have stretched them to emphasize my space.
    But even my silence didn’t last long when I heard the pounding of some ones’ feet to the pavement. Someone was running, and fast. My eyes darted to the pavement in front of me and directly ahead. A human boy was running right toward me. Well he didn’t know that but I did. I stopped dead on the sidewalk and watched him come as fast as I’d seen a human run in a long time.
    It all seemed to happen in slow motion as he passed through me. In that instant I knew everything from this kid’s life story to his favorite food. I saw his entire life and more flash before me. There was so much there, pain, anger . . . so little happy. It was a terrible feeling. His name was Felix, he was sixteen, six feet tall. His life was not a very happy one that I was sure of instantly. There was so much hopelessness and uncertainty that I was truly sad. Truly touched by the story of this human boy. But there was something else I was feeling. I was strangely drawn to this human named Felix. Even his name appealed to me like no other. I wanted to follow him and stay by him so I could always be there for him. Keep him safe. And most of all, I wanted to make him . . . happy.
    It seemed like as soon as our collision had begun, it was over, and he was still sprinting on down the sidewalk. I wanted to think more about what I was seeing and feeling. I hated being impulsive but it didn’t look like I was going to be offered that chance. Felix wasn’t running for no reason. He wasn’t alone. He was being followed. No. He was being chased. A knife in his hand reflected the lights from the street lamps. I stared at him and then glared. I knew I would definitely not allow harm to come to Felix. Never.
    Before I had time to think about anything else I spun around and flung myself after Felix, running as fast as I possibly could. I had to give it to the boy. He was fast. But this man was fast too. I knew the exact intension of the man. I could read it in his face. My unreasonable urge to protect him was only growing as the man got closer to Felix.
    Felix was already around the corner as I ran after him. I wished now more than ever that I still had my wings, even though they were black from being what they called a dark angel. By the time I got around to being banished all my feathers were black as coal.
    I pushed that thought from my head and focused on pushing my legs harder. He was so fast. I saw in his life story that he was in track. A good sport for him. It suited his height and speed well. I was finally gaining on him but realized I wasn’t going faster. He was going slower. No!
    I wanted to shout, “Run! Go!” but that would do no good. He couldn’t hear me anyway. Now that I needed a human to hear me, I loathed the fact that I couldn’t be seen or heard.

    The man with the knife was keeping good pace. And as Felix ran slower the man went faster as if he had been reserving his energy for this time. If there was one thing I hated to do, it was interfering with a human’s fate. It could alter things drastically and I was in no mood to hear it from the other angels later. But that wasn’t even a bother to me now. As long as, Felix was kept safe. Kept alive.