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Running all you hear is rapid footsteps. Who is running, why are they running? Then you hear laughter and tumbling. You see a group surround a girl in the Forest of Eternal Darkness. She darts away but the group follows her. She stops them doubles back to the group. Drawing out a gun the a friend gave to her, she starts shooting at the group. All fall them fall down dead. My name is Ame Kiyro and I am a vampire elf. My partners in crime are Twilight , Dusk, Momo, Ekiro, Majikku, and Kuro. My knees start shaking and I collapse to my knees still pointing the gun at the group.
"That was my fist kill and -" I said.
"Ame are you ok, did the organization hurt you," Ekiro yelled from afar. He came a few steps closer after viewing the corpses lying on the blood spilled ground. "You know you really didn't have to kill them, you could of let us have some fun," He paused. "Those son of a gun organization they will die for what they did to you," Ekiro said as I passed out in his arms.
Part 2 coming soon
- by WolffoxAme |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/04/2009 |
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- Title: Help me please (part 1)
- Artist: WolffoxAme
- Description: A girl who is being chased by an organization because she not perfect. Open to critics and please be nice this is my 1st entry. I know its short I'm still working on it.
- Date: 02/04/2009
- Tags: help please organization perfect vampire
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Improper Login Name - 01/04/2010
- I can see a plot developing, but this is coming from a college student who as taken a creative writting class so dont take anything personal I just giving you some suggestion. You start off in the second person by saying you see this and you see that. Then you go to third person, with she, than to first which is in the I . This is confusing to the reader. Pick one voice to tell the story in and stick with it. I like this story I believe you have real talent it a great opening. Great work
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- youkaiwolf0 - 12/02/2009
- sorry let me make my self clear. post the secont one all ready.
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- kalona_the_god - 07/22/2009
- not the best story I read, but good plot.
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- Raven Demon-chan - 06/02/2009
- very good
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- Cl3v3rRey - 04/19/2009
- Huh? This story is kinda if whack...
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- K4ND4 - 03/23/2009
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I liked it,made sense,and was very...cool! (srry didnt know how to describe it,butz itz awsome!)
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- WolffoxAme - 02/13/2009
- huh?
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