• CHAPTER 42 - ANOTHER CHANCE

    Don't underestimate somebody. If you make a mistake, confess to them. The guilt would only eat you alive if you don't.

    I'm not trying to be the antagonist, Kira's words were honest, but I still felt incredibly guilty. I felt that I probably lured him into wanting me more. What was I getting myself into? Why am I always the one handing everybody s**t?

    The silence of the commodious and empty study room was pungent. I sat back up and as I did, Momo hopped onto the couch. I stared at him, confused. Wasn't the door to the study shut? I looked up to see no other than Kai standing in front of me, looking a little worried. Had I fallen asleep?

    "Are you okay?" Kai lowered himself onto his knees and felt my forehead, "You don't feel like you have a fever."

    "I must have gone away," I shrugged, "Or maybe it was in my head."

    Kai chuckled, "Probably,"

    Seeing Kai smile again lifted half of the weight off of my shoulders, but the weight was still a burden. I bit my lip and stared at Kai in the eyes, his enamoring midnight blue eyes. I wanted to keep those eyes, that smile, his face, everything. I locked my arms around his neck and pulled his lips onto mine by surprise. Kai wrapped his arms around my waist and we kissed briefly for a moment. He pulled away and laughed at me.

    "Slow down, there," he smiled.

    "I'm sorry," I smiled back at him. I pressed my forehead against his and closed my eyes, "You got back quick."

    "It was only a half hour as usual," he shrugged, "Did you want me back later?"

    "No!" I protested, "I wanted you back sooner. I was lonely." I teased.

    "You had Kira here, right?" Kai raised one eyebrow in curiosity.

    Hearing Kira's name sent a pungent stab through my chest. I winced and smiled at Kai in reassurance when he gave me a worried look.

    "I'm okay," I continued to smile, although I was on the verge of breaking down.

    "Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" he continued to look at me worriedly, "Are you sure you're not sick?"

    I continued to smile at him, "There's nothing wrong with me. I just missed you."

    My ring was feeling heavier and heavier and my chest was hurting more. I shouldn't make such a big deal about it if I don't even love Kira. He was probably just using that special Vampire charm on me again. That was probably it. It was probably the charm.

    "You're going back to school tomorrow, so you'd better not be sick," Kai shifted his complexion into a smile.

    "You're taking me, right?"

    He frowned, "I can't. I have to take Orihime and Miku to see Takeuchi."

    That's right. Miku isn't legal to drive (you need to be eighteen to get your license in Japan) and Orihime is, well, blind, "Oh, okay," that only left one person to drive me.

    "Kira will take you," Kai told me casually, "Will that be okay?"

    I'd rather take my chances with walking first, "Yeah, that's fine,"

    Kai smiled again and pecked me on the lips and just as he did, Momo startled me by rubbing up against my thigh and I jumped. I looked to my side and saw Momo looking up at me innocently with his young brown eyes.

    "Momo, don't scare me like that," I complained. I shifted my attention back to Kai after patting Momo on the head and scratching behind his ear, "So how's Takeuchi today?"

    "He's able to keep his eyes open a little longer, but he still can't speak," he smiled, "He's got one dirty mind." Kai laughed.

    "I don't want to know," I frowned, "When do you think he'll be able to come back?"

    "With mine and Matsuda's guesses, we think about another week or two. He's making great progress now."

    Kai's face was glowing as well as his eyes. He was so happy Takeuchi was pulling through. I unwrapped my arms from around Kai's neck and grabbed Momo. I held the three-week-old Kitten in both of my hands and smiled at him. I turned him around and shoved him in Kai's face.

    "Momo missed you today," I laughed.

    Kai pushed Momo out of his face and frowned at me. I only laughed at him and noted the weights subtly lifting off of my shoulders. The stress I was feeling from before was going away. I wouldn't have to tell Kai now. But I'd only have to worry about Kira telling him. I held Momo up to my chest and cuddled with him and ran my fingers over his satiny fur. He mewed in a high pitch and rubbed the top of his head on the bottom of my chin.

    "Thank you again," I smiled at Kai, "for everything."

    Momo dug his tiny claws into my shirt to raise himself higher while continuing to rub his head on the bottom of my chin. I pryed him off of me and laughed. I let him down and he looked up at me with pleading eyes and I melted.

    "Kai, he's too cute," I frowned. I thought for a moment, "Does Takeuchi get along with cats?"

    Kai belted out a laugh and stood up and pulled me up by my arm, "Wow, you never cease to amaze me,"

    "I want to know! He's a Werewolf! A dog!" I yelled at Kai, angry that he thought it was funny, "I don't want him killing Momo!"

    Kai laughed again, "You should be worried about Momo killing Takeuchi,"

    That would be absolutely pathetic if that were to happen. Takeuchi has too big of a heart to hold grudges so yeah, Momo probably would manage to kill him first.

    A sudden and unexpected wave of guilt crashed into me and I embraced Kai before he could move another inch and I broke down. Kai froze in confusion and not knowing what to do, he rubbed my back.

    "Hey, what's wrong?"

    "I'm sorry, Kai, I'm sorry!" I cried, "Kira...Kira and I kissed." I cried into Kai's shirt.

    Kai's hand stopped rubbing my back and he gripped my shirt. I refused to look up at him, fearing I'd be looking into his angered crimson eyes. I only held him tighter, refusing to let go anytime soon.

    "I didn't want to! It wasn't intended!" I sobbed, "It wasn't planned or anything! I don't love him, Kai!"

    The whole time I cried, apologizing and crying out the truth about how I didn't want any of that, Kai never moved again. I cracked from the pressure and confessed to Kai. His silence was scaring me and I held him tighter so he would run off.

    "I don't want you to be mad," I was barely calming down, "I wasn't doing anything in the means of Ayame, I swear. If I'm lying, then I'll drop dead."

    After another couple of minutes, Kai sat us down on the couch. I finally had the guts to look up at Kai and into his eyes. His gunmetal eyes. With his gunmetal eyes, I couldn't read his true feelings.

    "When did this happen?" Kai asked me below a whisper, touching my face dantily with his fingertips.

    "Shortly before you came home. A couple minutes before you called." I choked out, "I didn't want that. I'm sorry."

    I pressed myself against him harder and buried my face in his neck. I couldn't bear it when his expression was so apathetic. Was he mad at me? Was he mad at Kira? What was he thinking?

    Then Kai did the stupidest. He gently pryed my arms off of around him and kissed the palm of my left hand. And in the most casual and gentlest way, he tried to slip off my ring. The ring that showed not even half of my love for him. I grabbed his hand, stopping him halfway.

    "What are you doing?" I was about to cry again.

    "This ring is too much of a burden on you. You're confused." Kai told me in a monotone.

    I glared at him, "What are you talking about?"

    "This engagement is obviously too much for you. You can't even think straight." he sighed, "It hurts me to say this, but I think we need to wait."

    "What? No!" I detested, "Do you not believe me?!"

    "Of course I believe you. You're just under too much stress right now." he smiled at me half-heartedlly.

    I hit his chest, "No, Kai! Put it back on!" I cried again. I buried my face in his chest and let the tears fall again, "Kai, I love you!"

    Kai held me, the ring now in his hand, "I love you too, but you need some time to think to yourself. I'm not saying the engagement is off, but maybe if you aren't staring at the ring all the time then you'll be able to think clearly."

    "Don't do this! Are you not comprehending what I'm saying?!"

    "Arisa, trust me. I'm believing everything. You're under too much stress, too much pressure. The engagement is still on." he smiled half-heartedly again.

    "You're so stupid!" I hit his chest again, although it probably felt like no more than a mere spring breeze to him.

    "I am," he muttered before he forced his lips onto mine.

    For once, I was still angry at Kai even though he kissed me. I'm never angry at him when he kisses me, but I was so...infuriated. He removed my ring! He really didn't trust me, did he? Did he think I would end up betraying him just as bad as Ayame did?

    Kai broke up the kiss after several seconds and looked deeply into my eyes, "I'll hold onto the ring. It hurts me to do this too, but once we know we're ready then I'll put it back on you." he cupped my face in his hands and wiped away stray tears with his thumbs, "I still love you."

    I closed my eyes and looked down at the floor, not knowing how to respond. I was mad. I was mad at Kai, I was mad at Kira, I was mad at myself. I hated everything. I wanted everything to end.

    Kai lifted my head so his eyes were meeting mine again and he halfway glared at me, "Don't think like that," he hissed.

    I cried again. Great, now he was thinking I was having suicidal thoughts. I pecked his lips and kissed his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I cried softly into his shoulder and gripped his shirt.

    Typical Hollywood dramas. Typical love triangles. I didn't think I'd ever be caught in one. I never realized how much stress and pressure one could be under when two people love them. But for me, I'm only in love with one of them...

    I think.