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my little story...
there was a little boy about my age wondering around in a little town,
when he found out the towns name, he saw someone name link.
when he said hi to link while he was training, link accidentaly killed the little boy that no one knew except his parents, but no one, not even his parents knew the little boys name... link felt so dissapointed and guilty for killing someone. so they put link in jail for 24hours but link was just soo sad about killing someone. he was thinking that he could of made a knew freind.
the next day...
after link was set out of jail, he went home and saw his brother, he was so excited that he forgot to train. His brother ike, was so strong that he rubbed it in links face.
link got so jealous that he left to go train.
three days later...
link came home after 3 days of training, he grandma was cooking lunch for everyone. everyone was so worried about him that everytime someone mentioned his name they start crying. but when link said something, they all looked at started screaming cause link was all injured and hurt and in deep deep pain. His grandma turned a little and when she saw link... she FAINTED!!! everyone was crying and ike(link's brother) took him to the hospital to heal and get sergury on his arm and leg.
too be continued......
- by xXEmokirbyloverXx |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/24/2009 |
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- Title: my story
- Artist: xXEmokirbyloverXx
- Description: this boy was so lonely but this other kid needed freinds but instead killed the lonely kid...
- Date: 01/24/2009
- Tags: story
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Comments (1 Comments)
- LitteMiss LoveYou - 01/25/2009
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Your grammar is bad, the three paragraphs have no point and don't make any sense. Murder, no matter how unpopular the kid is, does not get you 24 hours in jail.
There is no character development, followable plot, rising action, or introduction. Vocabulary is limited, sentence and paragraph structure are non existent and your spelling is terrible.
Please put effort into your writing. - Report As Spam