- In a world separated from our world, a world full of faries, monsters, and everything else fictional, a young girl named Angela was born. She was born a farie, a princess farie. She had three older brothers and three older sisters. There names being Alexandra, Angie, Drake, Bryn, Breea, and Eddie. All of them played peacefully, until, as they started getting older that they found out that they all had special talents. So they started to grow apart after 16 years of playful days, trying to figure out their special talents. Alexandra had the talent of music, Angie had the talent of calming a troubled person, Drake had the power of healing anything that was ingured, Bryn had the talent of controling water and to make it appear out of thin air, Breea had the talent of growing plants and other such things, and Eddie had the talent of moving objects with his mind. Since Angela saw that all her older brothers and sisters had found out what their secret talent was, she wanted to know what hers was. She tried everything that she could possible think of, but after many tries she gave up. Then during flying practice, she had flicked her fingers and then found her way into our world. Her parents were horrified that their youngest daughter was gone. They sent the farie troops out into the faraway places searching for Angela, but they couldn't find her anywhere. While they were out looking for Angela, she herself was horrified at where she had gone. The place where no farie has ever been in, our world. She tried to recall what she had done to make this happen. After 5 years, Angela remembered what she had done. She then went to the same place she had appered into the our world 5 years ago. Angela flicked her wrist and was finally home, but what she didn't expect was that after the 5 years that she was gone, her farie home was taken over by farie's enemies, the giants. She was scared half to dealth that they would eat her that she hid into a near-by cave. When she went into the cave, she happened to be in her families hiding place. They rejoiced that she was home. With Angela being home, it gave her parents hope that they could win back their home. With everyone in farie's help, they were able to concer the giants and were able to have their home. After the war, they had only lost a few noble farie nights. Then everything was back in place.
- by volleyball_pinay97 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 11/29/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: Angela's Begining
- Artist: volleyball_pinay97
-
Description:
it's kinda the whole story with out much details.......
A different world then ours and the begining of Angela's story.
About: Angela finding out her powers and the main part of Angela's Life.
This is my first story and i want to know what other people think of my story. Tell me if i should continue with Angela's story. If no then i'll still do Angela's 5 Years in Our World to explain what happened in her 5 years in our world. - Date: 11/29/2008
- Tags: angels begining
- Report Post
Comments (5 Comments)
- XxX_-Shyy-_XxX - 07/06/2009
- i liked it but you should explain what happened when she was in our world. then you could say what has happened when she went back home.
- Report As Spam
- Lyris Mendax - 12/23/2008
- It is a little wordy in places but a good start. If you could cut out some of the repetitive, information it would be even better. Keep in mind with the next part that it's not the amount of details that you give that tells the story; it's the quality of them.
- Report As Spam
- Clown_Tear - 12/08/2008
- THATSA REALY NICE STORY BUT U TOOK THE WATER OUT OF THIN AIR FOR AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER
- Report As Spam
- Nickolas Eric Endri - 12/02/2008
- All that being said, I think you have great potential. You just need a little bit of work on fleshing out the details, and drawing the reader into your world. Pleas keep up your good work, I hope to read more form you.
- Report As Spam
- Nickolas Eric Endri - 12/02/2008
- The story itself has great promise. My biggest problem with it was that you skimmed over the actions of what has happened with out giving any detail. A story that has as many things happen as what has happened in yours could easily be a full length novel or two, and a good one or two too boot. Unfortunately while your story holds lots of promise, the rush in which you went through the narration makes it little better then so-so.
- Report As Spam