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Special thanks to Just Fn Crazy for editing.
He wanted to be a Vampire.
"Teenage Ideal to become the center of their obsession"
"Oh Laurie, where are you hiding?"
He sang tauntingly. His voice was followed with his foot step that echoed against the wall.
With her eyes clenched, the little girl trembled from fear as she hugged herself tightly. Her forehead was drenched with sweat, her brown curls clung onto her skin, and she bit down on her quivering lips to keep her voice under control.
She breathed in and out heavily, her chest hurt from screaming and her legs ached from running. Tears poured down her cheeks silently.
"Come out, come out -wherever you are!"
His voice squeaked in obvious delight. This was a game and she was merely a pawn. He was invisible in the dark, but his voice, his foot steps, his presence was nearing her.
"Come out, little kitten...come out, come out..." he whispered softly, in a forged concern. He began clapping in a steady rhythm. Her heart beat quicken from confusion at his action. The clapping quickened as well.
Laurie moaned in agony, rocked herself for sanity and began clawing helplessly against the concrete wall. The cool, solid touch made her ache for home.
"I don't want to die....God," she cried silently, her lips moved with these pleas, as she pressed herself harder against the wall. "Why..." she sobbed, and she lost her control as sobs rocked her roughly. Every gasp and breathe caused her chest to heave deeply, and she trembled from the anguish.
The claps were quicker, and they were getting louder. He was coming closer.
She heaved for air, and she gasped with every word.
The crate next to her noisily shifted, causing her little hiding place to widen. Laurie's eyes narrowed from the glare of his flash light that pointed directly at her face.
His face could only be described as horrific as his eyes widen in glee and his smile showed one too many rotten teeth. His hair was stenched with sweat as it greasily shone.
He dropped his flash light, that rolled to the side too far for her reach.
"Why..." she tried again, as her eyes stared pleadingly. The boy hovered over her form, and cornered her in this confining space.
He bent down in front of her quickly; similar to a young child's eagerness as he giggled just the same.
"Oh, Laurie!" He exclaimed loudly that it scared her half to death and waved his hand in the air with such enthusiasm.
"I found you, I found you hiding behind this little crate!"
Her eyes snapped toward his hands he flung about, because she could see the blade in his hand. He noticed her gaze on his precious toy, and began scraping it noisily on the concrete floor.
She shut her eyes, and hid her face in between her knees. "Go away," She sobbed as her shoulder violently trembled.
"Why are you so scared? He murmured, as he began trailing his knife up her arm. His sudden change of demeanor unsettled the little girl. Laurie jerked upright form this sudden, cool touch and yelped as she noticed that her movement had caused a deep cut.
His expression changed into utter stillness as his eyes traveled down the blood that trickled down her arm.
The pain was almost unbearable as the gash had cut deep into her skin. She whimpered from the pain and hugged her arm to herself.
His face twitched, and he abruptly leaned over. She tried to back away but his hand clutched onto her shoulders tightly. She could feel his breathe, and his lips tickling her skin. His teeth softly grazed her neck.
Laurie couldn't breathe, this sudden closeness, almost intimate, that, combined with his promised to kill was all too much.
"Stop," she breathed, "Stop..." she cried.
The light from the flash light flickered off, and the dark swallowed them both once again.
The boy gorged onto her neck, enjoying the scream as he attempted to tear her skin apart. The smell was unbearable, but he wanted this. He ravished her, chunks of her skin were spat out, and blood squirted everywhere. He kept going; ignoring the screams and her violent struggle as he gagged himself with her blood.
His head felt dizzy, overwhelmed from the smell but didn't stop until her neck were messily torn to expose more blood, and veins, and bones. The moist, warm liquid drenched his face. He shuddered, and felt his stomach churning from this total sickness of it all.
He gulped at the sight of his masterpiece as he giggled wildly. "I want to be a vampire," he hissed, seeing the girl still slightly conscious.
His eyes widen from surprise. He titled her head to him and saw her eyes wandering their surroundings, drunkly.
"I want to be a vampire, Laurie..." he wanted her to understand. He pressed his fingers to the moist, unfamiliar touch of raw blood and organs and shivered with pleasure.
"I'm not sorry," he mumbled in a chilling calmness as blood drenched his face and dripped onto the floor softly
- by BiggieSmall123 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/02/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: I've caught you now.
- Artist: BiggieSmall123
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Description:
Teenage ideal to become the center of their obsession.
It's been edited to my best; 2/11/09
Edited Again. 3/2/09 - Date: 02/02/2009
- Tags: caught
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Wolfgang_anw - 02/25/2009
- I've noticed a few spelling and grammar errors, but the story itself is addictive!
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- jgirl39 - 02/24/2009
- I normally don't read stories in the Arenas - too lazy - but this one grabbed my interest from the beginning. I think you should change the sentence that says "attempted to control my voice." That would be fine if you said she was about to scream, but as it is, it's kind of lost... As for the rest, Gravetye pretty much said it all. If it wasn't random, then why? If it was, then how did he know her name? Who is he to her? Anyway, 5/5.
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- Gravetye - 02/22/2009
- Not bad. You keep the reader's interest--at least you kept mine--and the story is okay. I like the ending line, the entire image of him standing there and telling her that he's not sorry. I think someone mentioned this already, but you could have explained further why it was Laurie he decided to kill. He obviously knew her, at least to some extent. Was she just a random choice, or did he want to kill her specifically?
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- Kaicas - 02/16/2009
- that was awesome!
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- Fii Fritzl - 02/16/2009
- God that was creepy. The scary thing is I know a kid like this who is probably capable of commiting such atrocities...
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- darkangel9194 - 02/16/2009
- There are a few grammer misrakes but other than that it was good.
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- EBKemanon - 02/11/2009
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Find a good, long list of writing prompts, but don't write about what they say! Use those as ideas to make something entirely unique out of the prompt! With a hundred stories about doing the laundry, you need to do something unique to make your story stand out.
You have the passion. Just utilize it better. - Report As Spam